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Feb 11, 2003 "Why isn't someone like you married?" "Gosh, with your features, you'd think..." "But you seem so mature!" "You're supposed to be married, it's in the Bible." "I thought someone had scooped you up by now." These unsolicited statements made to me at various times by both men AND women were spoken in tones of pity, amazement, or at times, anger. Why? Do other single women experience these reactions? Overall, I've been very content with singleness, but it seems some don't know how to deal with a content single woman. For example, I've been asked questions about my sex life that the same people wouldn't dare ask a married woman. I've been "hit on" at various jobs-often by married men. I've been invited to functions where EVERYONE was bringing a spouse or children. That arrangement makes me feel alienated and also creates pressure to bring a "second party" or to rent a family. Personally, I never felt or thought I MUST marry or date to be acceptable. Now I'll never rule out marriage or a serious romance, but in these days of stalking, I'll kill you if you don't date me, I'll kill you if you date me, then leave me, I'll kill you if you marry me, then get a divorce, the once simple, wonderful institution of love has become, in too many cases, literally a death sentence. And THAT'S definitely something to think about. Now I do realize there ARE marriages or relationships where BOTH partners are normal, but even with that, the overwhelming majority of men still expect the woman to take total care of home, hubby, kids, and AND hold down a full-time job. Come on now! There's also a common conception that marriage offers security. If that's the case, what about high divorce rates, deserting spouses, and those abovementioned married women who HAVE to work? THAT'S SECURITY?!!! And being married or "involved" is no insurance against loneliness nor is it protection. These days, you may be better off developing yourself first (acquire a good education, travel, work on your career or start a business, be a volunteer, learn how to operate an A- K 47,etc.) You'll have a lot more to bring to the table when you DO get hitched. And if things don't work out, you can stepping; your life can go on. (Unless you've signed away half or all your assets; don't do this unless you're Julia Roberts or Liz Taylor....and I'm sure even they are protected.) Since you're eager to know, here are my 8 standards for a suitable date or mate (in no particular order): 1. Must be COMPATIBLE with me, share most of the same interests. Like my twin or clone! 2. Must be in EXCELLENT HEALTH and DISEASE- FREE. (no drug addicts, alcoholics, or STD holders. That's sexually transmitted disease, if you weren't sure.) 3.BE CHILDLESS; I strongly prefer a TRULY SINGLE. Why? You would not believe the vast numbers of men out here who seem to have sired at least fifty different kids from the Eastern seaboard to the California coast.....with at least fifty different women. And they want or expect you to automatically take care of all these kids! Let's not forget the ex-wives and girlfriends, because you now have to deal with them. And what if you and the guy's kids never get along? 4. Must be GAINFULLY EMPLOYED and have been for a little while. Not stingy! 5. Must have a SENSE OF HUMOR, but must not be silly. 6. Must have A BRAIN. (Don't be stupid!) 7. Must have STRONG MORALS AND VALUES. (No criminals, no sluts. Yes, there are male sluts!) 8. Must HAVE WEIGHT PROPORTIONATE TO HEIGHT, and SOME looks. (No fat or super skinny ones. Don't have to be handsome, but shouldn't be ugly.) That's it! Email Patricia Jacobs: Patj25@yahoo.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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