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Feb 21, 2003 Couldn’t we all use a little encouragement now and again? I know I certainly can. Even though I may exude confidence in something I am doing, it is rewarding to hear a word or two of praise. Of my many professions, my most stressful is as a full time writer. My days are spent searching for new projects, seeking out venues in which to submit my manuscripts, and endless editing, writing, revising, and unfortunately, even more rewriting. I don’t have enough hours in the day to spend doing all the writing I want. On top of that I also review books, which is very rewarding. I had never written a review before and was quite nervous. I read the story and thought it was just immaculate and beautifully written. My review was heartfelt and genuine. Uncertainty raced through my mind as I submitted it to the proper magazine. What I received back was a congratulations and my tension eased. What’s more, I received a big thank you from the publisher who deemed it as refreshing and the author was pleased as well. Encouragement. It’s amazing what that can do for one’s soul. As I have finished a story I feel rather good about, I peruse the markets that it would fit nicely in and then cringe as I hit the “send” button. Why? Well because I am putting something out there that has a lot of meaning to me and was written with emotion and a personal voice. It is putting myself out there risking rejection or denial, two things that can really eat away at a person. I know it goes with the territory of writing and even though something is rejected, it doesn’t mean that I have failed, but it still makes for a bundle of nerves and pressure. In fact, why I want to be a write when I hate rejection and don’t really have the patience to wait for someone to acknowledge my writing, I will never understand. I think I picked the hardest and most self- damaging professions just so I could add even more stress in my life and go through these motions on a daily basis. What was I thinking? Fortunately I have the most part been met with acceptances and very nice rejections. In fact a few publishers and editors take the time to point out what I could do to change things or where I should go with it. I am very taken by these professionals because they don’t feel they are above me, they were once struggling writers as well and understand what one’s words can do to a person. They use their knowledge and experience in a way that is helpful and encouraging. Some editors use rejections as a way to empower themselves, and I for one don’t think they remember how tough things were in the beginning. By being encouraging and supportive, I don’t feel so down on myself and I have the confidence to keep writing. While I don’t think anyone could actually deter me from writing, I know that I begin a new story with more fuel when I’ve been accepted than when I don’t. My other job is a full time mother. Now you probably ask why I would put writing as more stressful than parenting, but the answer is very clear for me. I know I am doing a good job even on the days when I have to question that. Somewhere inside I know that things aren’t always going to go the right way or the path I feel they should but somehow things will work out just fine. My son is a precious joy and as long as he is who he is, then I have no need to put myself down. I am not saying that motherhood is smooth sailing, but we take things day by day. Plus I figure that if I am completely wrong, I will receive a bill from years of counseling sometime in the future. Either way, my encouragement is through his smiles, laughter, and his love. I will always cherish our relationship. Finally I am a loving partner who tries to not be too bossy, too nagging, too ornery, or even too nice. Because I am not perfect (though close) and I don’t expect perfection, I feel that I offer a pretty decent balance of love and friendship. It may not be his story exactly, but since I am the one writing this, it will be done from my point of view. There are going to be moments where we fight or decide we are over but in the end, we enjoy each other’s company and truly love each other. As long as we ignore the outside factors that try to filter into our content lives, things flow quite smoothly. We are supportive of our careers and that is encouraging in itself. To have someone patting your back and saying that you are getting better all the time, is wonderful for one’s self confidence. Most rewarding of all is the safety that comes with that person when you have had a rough day at writing or your son has decided he is too old now to be tucked in, you have the encouragement that someone is there for you no matter what and doesn’t try to judge you, asking only that you are yourself. Email Nancy Jackson: coryann93@yahoo.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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