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Nov 7, 2002 No, this is not a spin-off of Driving Miss Daisy, although some of the scenes in that movie could certainly qualify for this article. The truth be known, I wasn’t sure how I should title this and then only after coming up with this one did I realize the rhyming part. What I am referring to is all the idiots out there driving around without a care in the world while making life difficult on others due to their carelessness and daring. You know exactly the type of idiots that I refer to. I have been in a few wrecks of which none were my fault and it really does get irritating to see people (I use that term very loosely) doing such idiotic things putting others in danger. They only think of what their goal is and do not pay attention to anything else but getting to that goal. Two of my accidents were a direct result of stupidity and carelessness. One was on a country road where a kid came roaring out of his driveway because he wanted to catch up with and beat his brother into town. Due to a tree line, I was not visible until the last second and he was not able to stop because he had not intended to. Needless to say, I got slammed and the car was totaled. Case two happened in a fairly large city early in the morning (around 1 A.M.). Picture a four-lane avenue and I had just passed this little chevette. He was in the outside lane and I was on the inside when he suddenly decides to turn left. This was NOT a lane change but an attempt to turn left. Well, I ended up in the other sides turn lane facing traffic (luckily nobody going that way was turning left). The kicker was that while waiting the arrival of police, another idiot (drunk) slammed into the first idiot’s car, ran up the back of a Cadillac and slammed into huge glass windows of a hotel at the intersection. These are just a couple examples of how ridiculous people can be. You know what I am talking about. There is the one who waits at an intersection until you are almost there and then decides he can go before you get there. Here’s your sign!!! There is the one that follows real close for miles and suddenly passes you only to go slower than you once ahead of you. A sub category to that one is the one who passes, whips in front of you only to slow and turn off at the next intersection!! Here’s your sign!! Let’s not forget the freeway fanatics. You are taught these simple rules to make things go smoother on the freeway (a highway that is supposed to make it easier to get somewhere), yet so many people seem to have gotten amnesia. Sunday drives are not meant for the freeway, but if you do, please stay in the slower lane (which is not on the inside) to make traffic flow smoother. When passing someone, do it and get back in the outside lane so Fast Freddie can hurry his way into a ticket. Do not change from the inside lane onto the exit ramp (hmmm…wonder why that would be)!! Here’s your sign!!!! One of the most frustrating of all is those on a two- lane highway that forgot how to read when a third lane appears saying SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT. I’ve never had trouble figuring out if I should move because that person behind me wants to pass. I really didn’t think it was a difficult thing to perceive, but I keep on getting proved wrong. The last bunch is the worst. If you see a funeral procession coming toward you, pull off to the side and let them pass. NOTHING can be so important that you can’t show a little respect. If you hear a siren and see those pretty flashing lights, GET OUT OF THEIR WAY!! Just think how you would feel if that were you in that ambulance. HMMMM, that sheds a new light on the subject, huh?? Finally, if you feel the need to be that close to me, let’s just pull over and I will offer you a ride in my trunk!! My suggestion to all of these “drivers” is that you save your car and enter it in the next demo derby where you are allowed to drive without too many brains!! May you all have a good week and yes you are allowed to bust out laughing when you see that the idiot that passed by you doing 90 is suddenly spotted up the road in front of a car with flashing lights!!!! I know I do!!!! ------------ Willis Kirk Jr. is a 37 year old who is currently back in a 2 year college on his way to a degree. Email Willis: tekky2b@yahoo.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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