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Sept 2, 2003 Recently the head of the local NRA asked me if I would give a talk at our local High School about the importance of gun safety. This confused me a bit. Well, here was the conversation: NRA: We know that you are a gun owner and we know that you are very involved in teaching and whatnot at your college. We would like you to give a presentation on gun safety and gun ownership at the local High School. ME: So, you want me to talk about hunting safety? NRA: No, we want you to talk about gun safety. See, we know that the kids down there are bringing guns to school and we want them to know how to handle a gun safely. ME: Wouldn't it be better to tell them not to bring guns to school? NRA: Look, they all do it. There is nothing that we can do about it. We just have to show them how to be safe doing it and hope that they don't get hurt. ME: Well, OK. Maybe though, I should talk to them about abstaining from carrying a gun. That would certainly preclude anyone getting hurt. NRA: Don't waste your time talking about abstinence! That is just a pipe dream. We need to talk to them about all of the different aspects of guns and ammo. Show them how to reload. Show them the difference between a hollow point slug and a wad cutter. For God's sake, some of them don't even know the difference between a rifle and a shotgun! ME:Ok, Ok, let me get this straight. You not only want me to encourage gun safety but you also want me to present all of the different options that they have in guns. Like the difference between a .44 and a .38. Am I on the right track here? NRA: Yeah, yeah, that's right. Also, don't forget to tell them about some of the more famous gun owners, like John Hinkley Jr. (he used a .22 you know) and Lee Harvey Oswald. These kids have got to know all about the different aspects of shooting a gun. ME: But those two guys shot presidents! NRA: You mustn't be judgemental when talking about guns! There may be some kid in the class who is a homocidal maniac and you could hurt his feelings. Remember: Embrace Gun Diversity. ME: Right, embrace diversity. I got it. What if some kids in the class say that they have no intention of bringing a gun to school? NRA: Look, tell them that the peer pressure to carry a gun will eventually get to them and that they are not strong enough to deny the urge. Not only that, but I want you to hand out guns to anyone who does not have one. Me: Hand out guns! Isn't that like forcing them to shoot someone? I mean, isn't that encouraging gun use? NRA: NO! Notice I said give them a gun. Your not giving them the ammo. ME: OK. NRA: Also, don't forget to tell them that if they do kill someone with their gun that they can escape responsibility by destroying their gun. They can throw it in a river, or burn it, or whatever. ME: Shouldn't we notify their parents about this class? NRA: No! The parents wouldn't understand. Things are different now from when they were in school. Let's not complicate things with parents. ME: Seems interesting but I think I will have to pass. NRA: I should have known that you would be an ultra conservative abstinence proponent. Fine then. You do know that the abstinence message will never work right? I mean, telling the kids to "just not" bring a gun to school would be like telling them to "just not" have sex! ------------ About the author: Wesley Mills is a full time student and writing instructor at Empire State College in Rochester N.Y. He also does freelance editing and writing and has his own company, "Writng Resources" which helps writers of all genres to write better and also does "book doctoring" and editing of all types. Email Wesley Mills: wmills1@rochester.rr.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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