10 Commandments For Lawyers

Articles

Wesley Mills

10 Commandments For Lawyers
Aug 26, 2003

So the 10 commandments in the foyer of the courthouse in Alabama are still standing. This is a good thing. I mean who would have a problen with such directives as: Don't kill people, Don't lie, Don't steal...etc. Apparently someone does. It appears that that someone is a group of three out of state, ultra left wing, radical, lawyers. They say that the 10 commandments "offend them." This I can believe. Lawyers, especially ultra left wing radical ones, would find the 10 commandments offensive. (Mostly because there are no loopholes to the Godly directives.) Lawyers would much rather live by THEIR OWN commandments. They would read a little something like this:

1) I will put no other gods before Myself, for I am the ultimate power in the universe.

2) I will put all material things above all spiritual things, especially money. Money is the root of all happiness, especially when it is money that is gotten by my litigation.

3) No one should ever call my office with a case that is worth less than $500,000. This would be taking my name in vain.

4) Remember my 6 weeks of vacation annually and do not bother me during them. Keep them holy.

5) I will honor my father and mother as long as they do not get in my way. If however they become too burdensome, I will fight for euthenasia. I will attempt to "pull the plug" at every turn. I'll take it to the Supreme Court if I have too!

6) I will not kill anybody. Unless they are threatening my financial security in some way. In which case I will then kill them and I will plead temporary insanity. I will then get one of my lawyer friends to represent me, as I would do for him.

7) I won't commit adultry...ha...ha, ha, ha, yeah right.

8) Stealing is acceptable as long as the theft is done legally. This would be through a little thing called a "class action lawsuit".

9) I won't bear false witness against my neighbor. This is because my neighbor is also a lawyer and we all live in the same "gated community".

10) I won't covet what others have as long as I can afford what they have. If I can't afford what they have, well that's just not fair and I will sue them for mental anguish.

See, attorneys have rules too.

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About the author: Wesley Mills is a full time student and writing instructor at Empire State College in Rochester N.Y. He also does freelance editing and writing and has his own company, "Writng Resources" which helps writers of all genres to write better and also does "book doctoring" and editing of all types. Email Wesley Mills: wmills1@rochester.rr.com

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