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Wesley Mills

I Have Decided To Join The Anti-War Movement
Feb 27, 2003

I have decided to join the Anti-war movement. Oh yeah!! My decision really has nothing to do with hating war it really comes down to this: I took a piece of paper and wrote down all the good things about being a "peacenick" on one side and all the bad things on the other. Guess what? I couldn't believe all the great things about being an anti-war idiot. Check this out:

1)I get to not bathe.
2)I get to not shave.
3) I get to identify myself with Gore Vidal.
(He wrote "Lincoln" you know.)
4) I get to use made up words like "anglo- american" war.
5) I get to ignore reality.
6) I get to wear hemp shirts.
7) I no longer have to say that pesky "Pledge of Allegiance".
8) I get to end a lot of sentences in "man". Like, "Don't judge me man!" and "I won't give in to the man!"
9) I get to grow some long hair.
10 I get to go on trips to cool cities like New York and San Fran.
11)I get to be a human shield.
12)I get to get my head bashed in by a nightstick.
13)I get to call my mom to bail me out. (She will be so proud!)
14)I get to live in the past.
15)I get to allow my wierd uncle harry, the ex-hippie, to live vicariously through me.
16)POT and lots of it.
17)Hippie chicks.
18)I get to do "Artsy" things like making signs and coming up with slogans.

See? How could I turn down an opportunity like this? How could I have been so stupid! I have put in my call to Jeneane Garrafolo right now. I can't wait!!

About the author: Wesley Mills is a full time student and writing instructor at Empire State College in Rochester N.Y. He also does freelance editing and writing and has his own company, "Writng Resources" which helps writers of all genres to write better and also does "book doctoring" and editing of all types. Email Wesley Mills: wmills1@rochester.rr.com

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