Humor: Growing As A Parent

Articles

Tiffany Colter

Humor: Growing As A Parent
Apr. 3, 2003

Having just delivered my 3rd child a week ago I have begun to reflect on how we grow and change as parents. I realized that many of the things I did with my first child seem absolutely ridiculous now. Maybe you will see yourself in a few of these examples.

Diapers

First Child: Name brand highest quality placed in neat stacks on changing table shelf. I also use a diaper wipes warmer and diaper cream with every diaper change.

Third Child: I use diapers that are on sale. I grab them straight out of the pack and change the baby on the living room floor so I can keep an eye on the 2 year old and 4 year old at the same time.

Meals

First Child: I buy the pre cooked pre-cut up food. I keep a chart monitoring the proper balance of nutrition. I serve meals and snacks that are healthy and I would never think of letting my little one eat fast food.

Third Child: I hand the 2 year old a French fry as we are driving the 4 year old to dance lessons. The newborn gets nursed in the van during dance while the 2 year old finishes her happy meal.

Sleep

First Child: You buy mobiles and swings and the most popular lullabies to help your baby drift off to nocturnal bliss. When the baby won’t sleep you walk the floors, take the baby for rides or anything else the new king/queen of the castle requires.

Third Child: What sleep. You realize newborns don’t sleep so you rent a movie, eat popcorn and see who can hold out the longest.

Labor

First Child: You take Lamaze and arrive at the hospital ready to handle this labor without using any kind of pain relief. You have a tennis ball and massage oils to relieve any discomfort of labor.

Third Child: You have the nurse call the anesthesiologist for your epidural as you are heading down to your room. You know what is coming and you intend to miss it all.

Fashion

First Child: You buy maternity outfits with duckies and bunnies on them and take your pre- pregnant jeans to the hospital to wear home. You know everyone will marvel as you leave the hospital at how great you look.

Third Child: You raid your husband’s side of the closet for as long as you can then you go to a maternity resale shop to buy anything that looks normal. You also have no illusions when you leave and you take maternity clothes to wear home.

About the author: Tiffany Colter is a 27 year old freelance writer who is married with 3 small children. She is a sunday school teacher at her church and a youth leader. She has 1 published article and is currently working on her first book. Email Tiffany Colter: greatcommission2@aol.com

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