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Apr 16, 2004 You Made Me Fat (DUH) I have strayed from my normal genre of writing because this topic is my fiancé’s pet peeve. She’s a small stature 5’2’, 104 lb Italian, though some years ago she was 70lbs overweight and looked like a large meatball. She loved food (still does), any kind, and she says, “The ALIENS made her eat”. She complained they forced her to eat, put a ray gun to her head and made her go to McDonald’s. Sometimes they tied her up and forced fries down her throat, and even threatened a mind melt, But she decided to give in. Oh how she hated that (yea right), well she did as she was told. Big Mac-large fries-large chocolate shake-apple pie and of course a large Fried Chicken Salad with Ranch dressing (for the vitamins). This was just the start of the day. You have to understand that these ALIENS were NATURALLY large and round besides being green, and very intimidating. On their world they do not eat, only drink, so they were very curious about earthlings and their eating habits. They had been monitoring the Earth for sometime and had noticed the abundance of large bodied people, but couldn’t understand my fiance's thinness and thought she was deprived. They had decided to come to Earth and make all humans in their own image. You need to understand that once the ALIENS take over your mind you don’t remember much about the foods you ate before, and getting out from under can be very hard. They started with her. “THEY FORCED ME TO EAT”, she said. After a year of getting larger she decided to take the ALIENS to court and sue them for what they did to her, she had gained 40lbs and still climbing. She had to defend herself because the lawyers didn’t believe her and in the court room the judge just laughed. She pleaded with the judge to believe her. To her dismay the ALIENS never showed up and were put in contempt of court. The judge was rather firm with her for bringing this to court, “blaming the ALIENS was stupid, now had you said McDonald’s made you eat, well that would be different”, he said. Court dismissed. She continued along for years eating anything in sight, especially at McDonald’s, getting larger and larger and larger. She didn’t settle for an iced tea (no sugar), side salad (vinaigrette dressing)and grilled chicken sandwich (no top bun), oh no, she went all the way. Family and friends couldn’t understand what was happening and of course they laughed when she mentioned the ALIENS. She kept trying to tell them to be on the alert and watch for them, but they still wouldn’t listen. Soon she started seeing more and more people everyday becoming larger and rounder and beating her to the drive- up window. The lines inside McDonald’s became so long it took hours to get a Big Mac. Then that dreadful day came, she couldn’t even get through McDonald’s front door, not because she got so large but because the place was filled with people. People everywhere, eating and eating, it went on for hours. She grew hungrier and thought she would starve to death, she started to tremble, she had to do something, NOW! Standing in the front parking lot she began to look around and noticed (for the first time), a cute little quaint store across the street, she would investigate. As she drew closer the smell of food caught her senses, it smelled different and didn’t have that heavy grease filled smell of Fat, Fat, Fat. This surely can’t be good but she had to go in and investigate. There on the billboard were the words Chicken, Fish, Grilled, Baked or Broiled. Sorbet, Yogurt, Fresh Fruit, Steamed Vegetables, and the Horror of all words, SKIM MILK. She thought she was going to die, but she was soooooo hungry she had to try something, She started lite with a piece of Lemon Grilled Chicken, then a portion of broccoli with olive oil and a slice of cantaloupe, but the big moment came with her drink, a glass of Skim milk. She didn’t DIE, she’s still ALIVE, and can you believe she kept it up, she lost the weight, she beat the ALIENS! You need will power, you need strength and most of all you need to stop blaming others for what YOU eat. So instead of trying to sue McDonald’s for what you eat be realistic and don’t be afraid to admit the truth, “THE ALIENS MADE ME EAT IT”. ------------ ABOUT THE AUTHOR: My writing is weird and strange and I try to be different. I write what may be or could possibly be. My writing comes from within my mind and that may be too much for you. If only Hollywood had a brain like mine the movies we could watch. Number 1 hits that are different. Originality is my motto. Do what has not been done. Email: knightbaby@earthlink.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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