HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Apr 20, 2003 When a child comes into this world it fills the life of the parents with happiness, felicity and satisfaction, every parent desires to make their child the best in the world, which is very natural, but to fulfill this wish parents have to take into account certain things, though different studies by different scientists have shown that sometimes early experiences in life of a child are very important and determine the future course of their actions yet at the same time some other believe this is not necessarily true sometimes later experiences have greater impact and can significantly alter child's behavior and if the child suffered any damage during childhood, later experiences can recover that damage and vice versa, nevertheless it is very important that parents give a good start to their child. Every child is a unique and special individual, they are not just small people, they are individuals in the phase of their lives where they learn many things, and they have every right to develop in a way that is proper, normal and healthy but unfortunately sometimes this does not happen and children become victims of neglect and emotional abuse as a consequence they experience emotional and behavior problems and need our help to get out of the predicament. Childhood is a period when they develop their sense of identity so they should be given full attention and provided proper guidance. There are some tips about the common problems which will be helpful to the parents. Some parent are keen to teach their child as much and as soon as possible but this is not very judicious. Try to teach them one thing at one time if you try to teach them all at the same time you might end up messing everything and burdening the child at the same time, so move from one lesson to other, this would be easier for both the teacher and the learner. Appreciation is very important even adults want appreciation for their good deeds and for children it is very important that you appreciate their little efforts, this encourages them to comply and do even better as all children feel very satisfied when they come to know that adults are happy from their action sometimes they deliberately do things that pleases adults as in this way they themselves feel pleased. Children are little souls that are beginning to learn to cope with the new situations, going through the experience of life and in the course of this they make mistakes, be tolerant to their mistakes I do not mean to overlook the mistakes but politely remind them of their tiny lapses instead of yelling at them this would have far better effect and they would try to comply and never ever reprimand them in front of others as this is always counterproductive and a child looses self-respect and dignity which are both very important for a normal growth of a child, if you want them to grow into a decent adult, children should feel specialness about themselves and it is only parents and teacher that could develop this feeling in them. Some children worry their parents by showing poor performance in schools, now there can be many reasons of this problem and in some cases it could be cause of learning disabilities, which are of course treatable, but the real problem is that when parents realize that their child is suffering from learning disabilities, as it is far easier to address this problem at the early stages as if remains undetected it can create many other problems, so parents and teachers should realize that if a child is trying real hard but is not showing the desired results then there is something fundamentally wrong. It is not only adults but children may also feel depression though it is also treatable however if proper attention is not given depression may hamper the normal growth and behavior of your child so if the sign of depression like sadness, hopelessness, crying, unable to enjoy activities that he or she used to like and participated, low self-esteem, increased anger or irritability, etc, then parents should seek professional help, otherwise unknowingly the child may suffer irreparable damage. Though child rearing is a tough task yet when children enters the adolescence that is the most difficult time for the parents where they have to be very careful, as this is the stage the children are not very experienced and they have more direct encounter with the outside world and this time is also crucial as at this stage they are learning to differentiate between right and wrong, and if at this time proper guidance is not provided to them by parents and teachers then things can complicate for them, as well as, for the parents, and this also is a period of their lives where parents cannot force anything on them so the best way is to try to develop friendship with them and try become so valuable and trusted friends that they themselves share all their problems and secrets with you, when I was at this stage, and with my other brothers and sister as well, my mother adopted this policy of friendship and she is so successful in doing all this that even if I try to hide something from her I cannot do it longer than twenty four hours and in most cases it is less than this, and I don't feel comfortable unless I share my feelings with her, and it's always like I am sharing my feeling and my secrets with a very good friend. Another major problem at this stage is to educate your child on different social issues and problems like drugs, smoking etc, the best way is to discuss these things with them in this way parents would be able to peep into their child’s mind and things become lot easier when you discuss them and most important and above all is that you set a good example for your child, if you smoke then morally it is impossible for you to discourage your child to do the same which you are doing all the time in front of them, and there are many things and habits that children sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously learn from their elders and parents and another important thing is that they should not be exposed to such evils, like cigarette ads on tv and violence on tv and in films or in video games, I remember when my youngest brother was in his teens, after watching WWF wrestling or any film of Arnold used to walk and behave like them, his whole body language used to change so these things have direct and negative effect on children which should be avoided at any cost. Children are our future, they should be our top priority, and every effort should be made by all of us to make this future as bright as we can. ------------ Sadia Talib is a teacher in Pakistan who has a masters in English Literature and Language. Email Sadia: sadiatalib@hotmail.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
