The Mix-up

Articles

RD Larson

The Mix-up
Oct 21, 2003

Here we go again. Who’s on First? What’s on Second? Never Mind Why’s there a third! And I don’t mean baseball.

What young round ball star is facing life in prison because a girl came to him, just like hundreds of other girls, our daughters and girlfriends, in the middle of the night? I’m mixed up. Didn’t we tell those girls not to talk to strangers? I thought nice girls didn’t go calling on strange men in the night time hours. Didn’t she guess what might happen? I’m not saying he’s blameless but he is also brainless. If he wanted to keep his image pure, why did he tell her how to get around the so-called bodyguard? How come rock stars don’t get caught as often as sport stars? And politicians even less?

George Bush was a cheerleader. I’m mixed-up. I want to know the pyramid make-up of his staff and who tells what when. Makes me wonder who is in charge. Does he tell those older guys what’s what or just let ‘em run amok reliving their old days? Same as Arafat and Sharon -- two old guys fighting to the death.

Remember how women wanted to get out of the house and have a career? Then took Martha Stewart on as their Home Club Leader? Mixed-up. Ever think if a house was put together like a gym it would be easier to clean. Women want all those cute things (not too many men DO, except on television) and want fluffy curtains.

Everybody specializes now. But -- and this mixes me up -- do they STILL know the total information about the subject or do they just know their specialty? Does the plumber know what to do if the power goes out when he’s head and tail under the sink? How about your urologist? Is he on speaking terms with the intricacies of proctology?

It’s not just doctors. The actor is good at his work so he directs or writes. Writers (like me) say, “Well, I’m an artist, I’ll paint a bowl.” What makes us so mixed-up? There’s a lesson here but I won’t accept the truth. I’m specializing in cat training. Do you think a row of straight pins will keep the cat off the curtains?

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