SO Help Me Out Here!

Articles

RD Larson

SO Help Me Out Here!
Nov 29, 2003

There are six kids wanting Christmas gifts. Of the six, only two sleep on sheets, four sleep in blankets, and they all sleep in underwear or sweats. Not one of them wears slippers, going barefoot summer and WINTER. So no sheets, blankets, pajamas or slippers for these beloved kids will be under the tree.

Do they all like music, you ask? Yes, if you can call it that. If I DO get any CD you can bet it has words that the parents of these kids will find inappropriate or irreligious or sexual. The kids on the other hand would think highly of my opinion. If I get them a book to read they will look at me and say, “Did you write this? Just tell me the story, fast.”

The boys shave their heads and wear hats. The girls show their bellybuttons year around. So no warm cozy scarves or gloves for these sun- babies. They also wear shorts all the time and seldom wear socks. No traditional gifts need be sent.

I can’t imagine that sort of life. These are the same sort of people that use electric toothbrushes and pagers. The bulk of their food comes in paper of some kind and is eaten while standing. They never eat candy and seldom exercise yet they are perfect to look at. What do I get someone that has everything like good looks, outstanding health and supreme indifference?

I hate shopping for underage people. I’ve been watching the Iraqis trying to get their country together. I think these American Rebels don’t need anything so I’m sending the folks in Iraqis slippers, socks and scarves in the true spirit of giving. Maybe even a CD. But the kids here are getting a printer sheet picture of my very fine fat cat sitting in the plastic Christmas tree last year. Maybe a dollar or two. But if you have a suggestion?

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To learn more about the author: visit www.RDLarson.com or email RD Larson: RD Larson419@aol.com

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