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Mar 7, 2004 Well, I turned 55 years old yesterday. I have carefully weighed the pros and cons of reaching this milestone in my life. As a public service, I now lay them out for those of you who have not achieved this inevitable station in your journey. First, the pros. The positive aspects of the general aging process and specifically turning 55: I will now receive a 10% discount when buying chicken dinners at El Pollo Loco. I can now play bingo at our local Elks Lodge. Now, here are the negative aspects of aging and turning 55. I will now receive a 10% discount when buying chicken dinners at El Pollo Loco. I can now play bingo at our local Elks Lodge. People congratulate me as if I have accomplished a worthy goal. Friends tell me, “you don’t look that old.” I find myself saying, “when I was your age.” I work out more, eat less and gain weight. Don’t even get me started on hair—wanted and unwanted. By the time my ship comes in, I won’t have the strength to walk up the gangplank. I get heartburn watching a Taco Bell commercial on television. When I buy a carton of milk at the grocery store, the bagger asks if I need help to my car. My medical file, which was paper thin through my 30s and 40s, is as thick as Webster’s New World Dictionary. Now that I’m old enough to be considered “wise” in some circles, I offer a few pearls of wisdom to my juniors. The second half is NOT the better half. Youth IS wasted on the young. The aging process offers NO advantages for your physical or mental health. The mind begins to…sorry; I lost my train of thought. The need for more space in your medicine cabinet is directly proportional to your advancing years. Your clothes mysteriously begin to shrink as you age. Your doctor’s phone number jumps ahead of your family’s number on the speed dial. I know this piece appears to be a little negative. I am sure it is due to the fact that it is just one day after I became old enough to be considered a “senior citizen” in the eyes of many establishments in America. Although I could supply you with many more examples of the cons of aging, unfortunately I do not have the time right now. Today is the day I scheduled to check expiration dates on my medications. ------------ About the author: Pete Whalon has just completed a memoir on his Vietnam service. He is self-publishing the book and it should be ready for sale June 1st of this year. Email Pete Whalon: kinoman7@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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