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Feb 25, 2003 I have been sitting in a wintry scene now since the beginning of November. It is almost the end of February. I am way past the winter blues and have been suffering with a major spring fever. I have only seen one shade, all around me, threatening to engulf me into its colorless arms and that is white. When I look up I see a white sky letting me know that my torture is not over yet. Looking down there are white clumps, pockets, mounds, and piles of snow. The bare trees are encased in a icy cocoon and it looks as though there isnt a road or street anywhere. Snow. I am not a fan of it and I dont really try to encourage it. Once it sticks it seems to think it is welcome, but it isnt by me. I dont find it to be the thrill others see. Sure its beautiful and magical on Christmas, but I could do without. It only takes me a day to get the snowball fights and building a snowman out of my system. I tire of bundling up like an Eskimo just to go and get the mail. My shoes arent appropriate for snow and I risk falling on the mornings that have left a sleek sheen to the streets and sidewalks. Ice. I am not a fan of it and I despise its existence unless in a glass of frothy soda. Twice already I have fallen on my behind and bruised my hip and thigh. It didnt make for a very pleasant day. This particular season just isnt my friend. Winter brings me depression and a sense of being trapped. I will get an urge to take a walk and get some fresh air, only to open the door and witness the sheer chill in the air. The door closes and I sit down until the feeling goes away. I miss color. Green. It is a welcoming color and I long to see it. I want to run in a meadow and pick wildflowers and hear the birds sing under a warm golden sun. I want to stop and smell the flowers and give thanks for all the trees and plants blooming around me. My eyes want to see the trees fully clothed in its green attire and leaves to blow gently in the breeze. I lungs wish to take in the fresh sweet air that renews my energy. My skin awaits to soak in the rays of the sun. My whole body craves to feel free and alive and no longer a prisoner to my home, the heater, and layers of clothing that have become my daily pre-outdoor ritual. But for now its all a dream because there isnt a thing around me except white. Even a glorious bouquet of flowers dont stay alive long enough for spring to arrive. The one thing I am happy about during this season is that I write more. So to add a little splash of color to my day, I use my colored paperclips and paperclip every piece of paper I can find. I get a small sense of joy as I admire the clips of blue, green, orange, pink, and purple. Instantly the papers look beautiful and my heart feels good. I smile a little and sigh deeply. Color. I am a huge fan of it and I want so badly to see it. Watching a movie last night with my son my eyes were wide as I pointed out the clear blue skies, the deep brown tree trunks, the emerald green grass, and the yellow sun beating down on the pansies. Tears formed in my eyes. Color seems foreign to me. The only thing I have to look forward to tomorrow is more snow, a fresh batch of it getting ready to dump itself on my already colorless life. You sure know what youve been missing when you have gone without. Today I decide to rearrange the house a little. I add some fake flowers here and there, just to pretend it is spring. I arrange another fake flower bouquet and place it on the table. Ah, just right. What else can I do? Turn up the heat and pretend I am at the beach, watching the waves crash in and out, warm sand sifting around my toes, and tasting the salty air. Oh what I would give to send winter on its way and welcome spring with open arms and a dazzling smile! I know there are many people who adore winter and they are cut out for it and adapt well to all seasons. I am just not a winter person. The one reassurance I have though, is that spring is just around the corner, a little out of my reach, buy always in my heart. About the author: Nancy Jackson is a full time author and poet with works in Literati, Twilight Times, Anotherealm, Sonny World, and various anthologies. Her pasttimes include spending time with her loved ones, drinking wine, and lots of writing! Email Nancy Jackson: coryann93@yahoo.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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