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Apr. 29, 2003 Okay, I know I am with my sweetheart because of all the wonderful things he does, loving words he says, and our mutual respect for one another. Hes my friend, confidant, supporter, coach, and writing critique among other things. But one thing I must say, if I had met his mother first, we wouldnt be together today. Not to say she shouldnt be shown respect and treated kindly to her face, I make sure to do the dutiful daughter- in-law bit and smile or nod when appropriate. Underneath her over-caked face and snow-white hair, she is moody and someone you dont dare cross without backup. Because I am the newer person involved, I get away with a lot and it seems to be to my advantage. He has three sisters and every one of them has been through depression and emotional episodes related to the way their mother treated them. Of course I am thinking, dont we all at some point think our parents are crazy or something, until we get older and wiser and realize just how much crap they put up with by raising us? Well, unfortunately for them they were correct and she just gets worse. Lately she gets upset at everyone and calls each child to dish about the rude and inconsiderate behavior of the other child. I suppose she feels empowered somehow talking each of her kids down, but its her kids that dont support her commentary. They are quick to apologize and explain they dont feel the same way she does. Then that becomes a conversation turned quickly around and now that child is the black sheep for the week. In fact just about every month someone is the golden child and that stems from whoever does something really great or stands out in her mind. For some reason she enjoys games and has a hay day in starting them and twisting them around until you are caught up in it, without a clue. On Friday I was starting to feel that I was either having a major reaction to allergy season or the beginnings of a cold. We needed to borrow their van because our car has been sporadically having fits and making it an unreliable choice of travel. Well they had no problem as they have another vehicle to use. So we were thrilled, Sunday would be a day where we could get around and not worry about being stranded somewhere. The weather was calling for incredibly nice weather and we really needed it after five months of snow. Saturday my health was so-so, I knew that it wasnt an allergy but more like a slight cold. I hadnt been sick since August so I figured my time was due. Sunday was somewhat the same though I was feeling a little rundown. I knew that driving around getting fresh air was going to help, it was a stuffy nose and a headache. There wasnt a fever, cough, runny nose, sore throat, or chest congestion of any kind. We get to the house and when we walked in she took one look at me and sent me outside. I was like, okay, fine, its your house. She said I didnt look well. I explained to her that it was sinus/headache thing and that was it. Well she insisted that because I might have SARS I shouldnt take their van out, I might infect them if they were to drive in it. So I am standing there with my mouth open and eyes wide. Yes, I realize SARS is out there, but I dont have it, havent been around anyone who does, and I sure wouldnt be around my family if I thought for any reason that I should be concerned with it. I mean come on, regardless of what things are going on out there, West Nile Disease, SARS, and other viruses, people are still going to catch colds. I am a full time writer at home, I dont cohort with other people, and basically I got a cold from drastically changing my diet and flushing out my system with about 30 glasses of water a day. Somehow in flushing I triggered a reaction and my doctor says I am fine and that was good enough for me. But the nerve of her! So we had to go back home. I felt like crud because now our planned day was ruined. You cant be so insensitive to a person that you leave them feeling like they are nothing. So anyhow later that night she calls to talk with her son. I hear of course only his part of the conversation but can tell he is getting frustrated quickly. She called to ask him to come over and help move some things around the house that are too heavy. He says normally he would but if she thinks I have SARS and he is breathing and touching everything I am than she should be equally concerned about him passing it along to her. Well, finally she realizes she overreacted. An art she has come to shine in. So he tells her maybe in ten days he will come over, just to make sure I am out of the woods and all. Yeah, I know she feels like a big dork. But does she apologize that she hurt my feelings? Of course not she hasnt apologized in all honesty for over thirty years. I dont blame her though, she isnt my mother and for that I am glad. For a moment there I got a taste of a prejudice treatment and by a woman who has just about alienated her whole family. Its nice to see that while she plays games, no one else feels the need to join in. She claims she is never happy and always depressed and that no one loves her. Everything is everyone elses fault and she is a saint, in her mind. I dont understand, dont want to, will never try but I wish she could step out of her little bubble long enough to realize that the rest of her kids and their families are very close, she is the only one who isnt. Who needs to do the real changing here? About the author: Nancy Jackson is a full time author and poet with works in Literati, Twilight Times, Anotherealm, Sonny World, and various anthologies. Her pasttimes include spending time with her loved ones, drinking wine, and lots of writing! Email Nancy Jackson: coryann93@yahoo.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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