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Apr. 22, 2003 Okay so I am still waiting for my tax money and in the meantime I have more things falling apart or breaking than I did before. Everything is against me! I dont get it. On top of that it was my sons birthday over the weekend, and of course Easter the following day so any chance of a somewhat financial moment of security is completely gone and out the window. And to make matters worse, I want to start a diet. Now if you havent read my earlier article I can some it up rather quicklymy car along with everything else in my life is on the fritz or ready to bust any moment and my saving grace comes in the form of a tax refund. Enough said. So why the problem with starting a diet, well have you looked at the price of fruit and vegetables lately? Cripes! I have become a bit bored with the bananas and apples routine. They are getting old and I am craving some delicious grapes, berries of all kinds especially blueberries and strawberries and melons and kiwi and pineapple and plums and okay, well you get the idea. And that is just the fruit. Vegetables have their own ridiculous prices as well. I know I am not getting my moneys worth that is for sure. I was appalled at the store to see just how much it costs for a tiny carton, enough for one person, of blueberries. Sky high prices! See I got this notion in my head and told my family we are going to start eating healthier and take walks every evening now that the nice weather is here and though I got a few groans from my son, it was unanimous that it sounded like a good plan. Then we got to the store. Its no wonder people are so overweight, it is cheaper to eat junk than good fresh foods. I was frustrated because it seemed like someone was walking around beside me whispering in my ear that my diet is doomed, that I am doomed because I cant possibly afford to buy all the good stuff I want. While my mind is visualizing large salads with several types of lettuce, cabbage, radishes, carrots, tomatoes, red and green peppers, celery and other yummies, my pocketbook is saying the cheapest bag of already made salad and call it good. Now that isnt right, I want to eat a big bountiful salad with all the trimmings. I want the salad bar at the expensive restaurant we went to sometime back, only in my own home. Next on my mind was fruit salads, dried fruits and some mixed nuts. I kid you not, outrageous prices. We wont get into the chicken or produce because that I am still reeling over. All in all I was only able to settle for half the items I wanted to purchase that were healthy and still my grocery bill was almost a hundred dollars more. A hundred dollars more because I added in some healthy alternatives! So we get the groceries into the car and start the car and it sputters and I am ready to send the car to the moon. Luckily we get home but its just a matter of time. The horn doesnt work and the windshield wipers keep sticking. We just had it in the shop for two other repairs that cost a pretty penny. What is all this griping and whining and moaning? Well for starters its the timing and for finishers it isnt right to have so many things happen all at once that make you want to pull all your hair out and scream. I dont want money to be such a big important deal. I want to be able to live comfortable without having all the newest gadgets and toys in my home. I dont need a widescreen television though they are nice. I am not looking for surround sound or brand new furniture and stuff. I am happy with what I have, but I need to rely on my transportation and my family and I need to make healthier choices with food. Putting those as my priorities doesnt change the fact that the other necessities still need fixing and clothes need buying and there is something looming around the corner to jump onto the list at the wrong moment. I am not a money hungry person, I dont want to work hours on end and not enjoy life. I want to take a vacation at least once a year and afford sick days and moody days. But I dont want to give myself up and my family to make ends meet, which seems like where things are headed. Been there done that. Once you sacrifice the truly important things for the sake of money you know you are in trouble, life isnt balanced, things dont feel good, especially inside. It isnt worth it in the end to know you have let others down and all. I dont know, I just shake my head and ask over and over, what lesson am I supposed to be learning down here, and hope someone will answer me, though no one does. I get that life isnt to be taken too seriously. This isnt a new theory. I know money isnt as valuable as people want you to believe, but you sure need it if you want to live comfortably and healthy. Anyhow, to make a long article short and conclusive, I am still waiting and as I wait there are more things being added to the list each day. And they arent petty things, they are common basic necessities and thats what makes it so frustrating. And the thing is, once I get that hot little check in my hand, deposit it, and then pay everything off and fix everything, I will be right here again and things will still break and things will be needed and I wont have the money. Sigh. Deep long sigh. Oh well, such is life. About the author: Nancy Jackson is a full time author and poet with works in Literati, Twilight Times, Anotherealm, Sonny World, and various anthologies. Her pasttimes include spending time with her loved ones, drinking wine, and lots of writing! Email Nancy Jackson: coryann93@yahoo.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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