Thinking Thong

Articles

Michael John McCrae

Thinking Thong
Nov 12, 2003

Man! They're everywhere! The beach! The poolside! The 7-eleven and the ABC Stores! Not that I'm paying much attention mind you, but my fellow instructor, who seems to have degenerated to only a one phrase in his Hawaiian vocabulary (LOOKIT THERE!!), also seems to be continually thinking "Thong".

Now, I am really trying to behave myself. Staring, leering and oogling are definite no- no's. But LOOKING? Yep, gotta look. Some of those patches of cloth are quite colorful. Some of those stringy-thingy things are actual works of art. Some of those fifty and seventy-five dollar rubber bands covered with cotton might even qualify as distress flags should you be stuck on a desert island with soneone actually wearing one.

Personally, I don't think any of those bodies I see in thongs are real. But, I'm truly afraid of the lawsuit should I apply the "to touch it is to believe it" test of validity. Anyway, I haven't seen my fellow instructor for days now, since he purchased a set of binoculars.

Thongs aren't really for everyone. I could never carry one off. I understand they do make a male rendition of Thongomainia. Fortunately? I do not chase fads. All my bathing suits are hip-to-knee. I'm still looking for a cover-all type. No luck yet.

There was an old saying, "If you got it, flaunt it." Well, there's a lot of flaunting going on around here. It is, I'm sure all in good fun. I will admit I am a coward. I am afraid to approach any woman wearing a thong to ask the question: "Why do you wear something like that, publicly?" I'm really curious. I would like to know the mind that thinks it must show the maximum amount of butt possible while remaining a breath this side of legality.

I'm curious about the husbands I see on the beach with their thong wearing wives too. Between my wife and I, the amount of flesh a thong allows to escape is something better kept between a husband and a wife in the privacy of their own relationship. Do I want other men oogling my wife anywhere, anytime? No. That's my territory.

So I just behave myself. I understand fads and fashions. The need to look pretty and young includes the use of thongs, low cut jeans and tiny skirts. I am not a prude gang. I have to tell you my fellow instructor does have an eye though. Sometimes his eye even reaches the back of his head. He can sense a thong within a hundred yards, then I'll hear: "LOOKIT! LOOKIT THERE!" it is similar to "Thar she blows!" when sighting a Killer Whale. Only in his book, it is usually, a Killer Thong.

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About the Author: Independent, Conservative, Christian. Married 29 years this month with five children raised and one grandson being raised. 30 year Army Veteran and published poet with www.poetry.com for the past 3 years. Email Michael John McCrae: michael.mccrae@us.army.mil

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