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Mar 28, 2004 So what is it about Chinese food anyway? Every state I travel to and every town and village has a Chinese restaurant. It makes me think that we will have no chance at all if China decided it wanted to take over America. The Chinese buffet is the most insidious invention ever. Congress has gotten into the act and created a law that prevents me from suing fast food joints for my chubby belly. I hope that law will never apply to the Chinese buffet. My approach to the standard buffet is to take a bowl of soup or chili first. My first plate is then filled from the salad area. Lettuce, broccoli, mushrooms, olives and sprouts with a honey mustard or (forgive me) French dressing. If there is three-bean, pickled beets and corn salad available, they will hit my plate too (must have my veggies!) I will always look for chili in the American buffets. I always seek out the hot and sour soup at the Chinese places. American buffets will always include a little of every type of meat. I love meatloaf, and will look hard for that. Green beans and mashed potatoes will top off most American meals but I will look for spaghetti and meatballs too. I am predictable in all Chinese buffets. I will start with soup and salad; then a second bowl of soup with a little of every type of fried offering available; no breads and very little rice. The third plate will contain a little of everything else that looks good. If I am still hungry after plate number three I will have more soup with a couple of chicken sticks or a dozen peal and eat shrimp. Now you all have a picture of me as a 350 pound ball of meat that can barely get into my mid- sized car. I only treat myself like that on rare occasions. The rest of the time I am doing cups of noodles or other light fare. I did get very tired of being 282 pounds. Since my trip to Japan (Yes, I found a Chinese buffet in Japan too.) I have dumped 25 of those pounds and I feel much better. I have determined it is silly to sue anyone because I am fat. If I am fat (You do understand I am in a state of denial?) it is because I over ate, or did not exercise, or failed to count caloric intake properly. I love “Whoppers” and “Wendy’s” doubles, and “MacD’s” one dollar double cheeseburgers and chicken sandwiches. I have to watch my intake there as well. I don’t do much cake and ice cream; actually I am not big on desserts. I am a huge fan of “DOTS”, jelly beans and starlight mints (considering these basic food groups.) I do exercise and I do feed myself often, so I am more watchful than most guys as big as me. I really love eating when the food is hot and spicy. Tex-Mex is another big weakness. I have been told I should write a book. Perhaps it will be a diet book. I think the title would be, by default: “The Diet That Doesn’t Really Care”, or “The Un-Diet”, or “The Non-Diet”. I don’t know. We shall see. My diet consists of being able to eat anything you want. The only thing you must avoid is talking to lawyers about suing the people who sell you the foods you ingest. If you practice moderation in everything you will do just fine. We all know that smoking and drinking alcohol in excess and doing drugs known to be harmful like heroin and cocaine will eventually mess up your body. These are not secrets. As we choose to do these things we must assume the risks and the consequences of our choices. This is true of our gastrointestinal choices as well. Choose wisely. Chew with your mouth closed. ------------ About the Author: Independent, Conservative, Christian. Married 29 years with 5 children raised and one grandson being raised. 30 year Army Veteran and published poet with www.poetry.com since Y2K. Email Michael John McCrae: michael.mccrae@us.army.mil Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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