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Apr 30, 2003 I don’t care much for donuts. The very concept of lard is rather creepy to me, and I once read that a donut has the same fat content as 90 oranges (an odd statistic, granted, but that’s a whole lot of oranges). Nonetheless, I will cave in a few times a year and down a bear claw with my coffee. Part of the reason that I can enjoy it is that it is such a rare treat. That’s why it steams my sushi every time I read about some government or quasi-government agency that is mounting some crusade to dissuade me from that donut, or any other decision of mine upon which they may frown. Just last week, Eugenia Calle, director of analytic epidemiology for the American Cancer Society (a niche title if I ever heard one), said that the country should do more to help people control their weight. Her organization had just released a study suggesting that obesity was a contributing factor to between fourteen and twenty percent of cancer deaths in this country. Elaborating, Ms. Calle said, “For smoking, we took action in a lot of different ways, including public education and policy and regulatory changes. It wasn’t just left up to the individual.” She added that we need similar changes to make maintaining weight easier, such as creating environments where people can make healthy choices about food and activity. Now, the idea of government “creating environments” instantly gets my bristles up. I don’t want my government creating environments, nor is it supposed to. I want it to pave my roads, pay my local fire department, and keep angry, swarthy men from flying commercial aircraft into office buildings. That’s pretty much it. Movie directors and interior decorators should create environments – not Uncle Sam. Maybe I’m paranoid, but Ms. Calle’s comments conjure some unpleasant images. I foresee waiters forced to read me my diner’s rights from a card, a la Miranda: “You have the right to a salad, you have the right to a non-creamy dressing, etc.” I don’t need some flair-covered kid at TGI Friday’s telling me I can have a salad - of course, I can. Now, shut it and go get me my baby back ribs. Don’t get me wrong: I know we have an obesity problem in this country and I am all for education. There are probably folks among us who think that Arby’s is one of the food groups. The American Cancer Society and their ilk should do all they can to politely point out the error in that line of thinking. But it stops at education. If some guy who buys his clothes at the “Hefty Haberdasher” decides he can’t live without Arby’s and their horsey sauce, get off his back. He’s an adult and it’s his call. The other way to combat obesity is through – no surprise here – parents. If your 13 year-old son boasts about how he get Jeff Bagwell to bat .415 on PlayStation, but can’t swing a real bat himself without breaking a sweat, it’s time to get the child outdoors. Forcing MacDonald’s to have 20% of their menu devoted to vegetarian or low-fat options is not going to get this kid on the right track. Sometime in the next week or so, I will go to a steakhouse. I will order a filet mignon, cooked medium (hey, it’s my steak), with all the trimmings. I will order a glass, no, a bottle, of burgundy. I will top the whole thing off with a fat, Dominican cigar and carouse with friends long into the evening. And I will take serious exception to anyone, government or otherwise, who does anything that could even remotely mar, much less infuse a sense of guilt into, my enjoyment of that. On second thought, maybe I’ll top that meal off with a donut. No, a donut AND a cigar…at the same time. Yeah. ------------ About Matthew Bastian: Recovering socialst, part-time drummer, long-suffering Brewers fan, and all-around beach hound, Mr. Bastian lives in central New Jersey. Email Matthew Bastian: mbastian19@hotmail.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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