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Dec 30, 2003 According to Democrats, outside of Christians, North Korea is the “greatest threat to mankind” du jour. Last week it was Iran. The week before that it was Syria. When Bill Clinton was in office it was Saddam Hussein. It is mentally tiring trying to be a liberal. No wonder there are never any good ideas, plans or proposals coming from the Left. They’re too busy trying to modify their position from yesterday. Saddam has been captured; his sons have been killed; Lybia has agreed to give up their WMD’s and unfettered access to their country; Iran has agreed to unannounced inspections to their nuclear sites. What happens if Kim Jong-Il of North Korea agrees to give up his nuclear weapons and we find Osama Bin Laden? Will the Democrat wave the white flag…I mean various-colored flag, for multiculturalism, and admit that the world is a safer place? Not likely. We still haven’t found: BIGFOOT We can’t rest easy until backpackers in the Northwest are able to hike safely, without being accosted by the site of a six-four man wearing bad shag carpet. THE LOCH NESS MONSTER Even admitted to be a fake, by the very man who propagated the legend in the first place Democrats still believe Nessie poses the greatest threat to the people of Scotland, besides Sean Connery’s last ten movies. Since Nessie is a giant lake monster confined to waters in Scotland, she obviously is a threat to America too. JACK THE RIPPER He was never found; and being at least 150 years old, he still poses a threat to hookers in the slums of England, i.e. America. WALDO Even though Democrats are unclear as who Waldo is and why he is a threat, since no one has been able to find him, he must have done something; therefore a threat to national security. JIMMY HOFFA Anyone who has been missing this long has something; therefore a terrorist. SCOTT BAIO Since no one has seen him since “Charles In Charge,” he must be planning a terrorist attack. ANNE MURRARY She hasn’t had a new album since 1983. She must be a terrorist. TRACY AUSTIN One of the hottest tennis players of the 80’s. She hasn’t been heard from since. What is she plotting? What terrorist organization is she plotting with? THE NOID No one has heard from the Domino’s Pizza mascot since the ‘80’s. Makes you wonder doesn’t it? So who else has been MIA? Odds are, if you haven’t seen or heard from them in years, they are probably a terrorist. ------------ Visit LannyGrant.com or email Lanny Grant: lannygrant@aol.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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