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Aug 18, 2003 I get up this morning, get my bowl of cereal, a glass of milk, turn on the computer, sign on, get on the internet, click over to Useless Knowledge, to read the new articles, and promptly spat a mouthful of Fruit Harvest back into my bowl. Someone wants to merge the United States, Canada and Mexico. I was hoping, by the Swift-ian allusion in the title of Fred Paxson's article, it was going to be satirical. I may have missed the joke. Or Mr. Paxson may not have made one. I guess not every brave man and woman who serves our country is a conservative. "Merging Mexico, Canada and the United States into one nation (perhaps the United States of North America) would bring together all the peoples of North America, working towards one goal." The end of civilization as we know it? Canada already has "Welcome Muslim Terrorists, Please Slaughter the Americans" signs posted along its border. The only thing legal that Mexico exports is beer. "Washington, D.C. would still be the capitol, with representatives from the Canadian Provinces and Mexican States given seats in the Congress and Senate." The greatest thing that can happen for liberalism, outside of burning every Bible in America and making heroin available in every drug store, is to bring back the glory days of Communism. The socialistic Canadians and working class/"blue collar" Mexicans would vote overwhelmingly Democrat. If the Liberalcrats get enough seats in the House and Senate, the first thing they would do is began making a place on Mount Rushmore for Karl Marx. "The new states/provinces would elect governors, legistlatures, etc, just as current US states do, under a newly drafted constitution for each state/province." So we should just trash our Constitution? No. He's right. Let's face it. The Constitution is dated, antiquated. It's just not applicable to our modern society. If it was, judges across the nation wouldn't have to be rewriting law from the bench. Right? So, let's write a new Constitution. In fact, why should we have only one? Why can't each state have its own Constitution? This way California can legalize hard drugs and eliminate God (finally). New York and Chicago can have child pornography and abortion in their Bill of Rights. But why stop there? Why only have one President? Why can't each state have its own President? Maybe this way Al Gore will finally be President of Tennessee. It depends if the Republicans run that cigar store indian or not. "This merger would bring together the work ethic, human and natural resources of all three countries, increasing the power and economies of the whole." The South American drug cartels are certainly for this. No border. No border patrol. You think we have a drug problem now. Wait until narcotic kingpins come to this country, and become legal residents. I wouldn't advise parents sending their kids to the University of Mexico at Cancun. It's going to make the University of Miami look like a community college in Delaware. "Citizens of the new nation would be able to work, buy and own property unhindered by borders, just as citizens of different states or the EU are able to currently." And we all know how rocking and rolling that economy is. "Being a citizen of the new country would help the poor of all countries(especially Mexico) to lift themselves into the middle class." Are Liberalcrats ever going to learn? People have to want to better themselves. No matter how much opportunity you throw someone's way, if they don't want to change for the better, they're not going to change for the better. "A program of intensive English instruction for those who currently speak Spanish would put all citizens together with one common language." This is so liberal my head is about to explode, Scanners style. "If anyone has more ideas for this proposed nation, please e-mail me with your suggestions." Waiting for the punchline... ------------ Visit LannyGrant.com or email Lanny Grant: lannygrant@aol.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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