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Aug 14, 2003 A war has erupted on this website, and that's good, because war is good. Conservatism is being mischaracterized and misunderstood by liberals. What is Conservatism? What does it really mean to be a conservative? Are we really as bad as liberals paint us? Let's go issue by issue, and see: Immigration The boat people should be thankful. The foreigners who hide in engine blocks and tie themselves under trucks to get here should be kissing American soil in immeasurable gratitude. Every few feet, they should be required to bend knee, kiss sidewalk, and thank God they are living in the greatest country on Earth, not the armpit country from which they came. Those who attempt to circumvent our naturalization system and sneak in should be shot as they come over the fence. As is, the illegal population is already too "thick." Hunters should be allowed to hunt illegal immigrants for sport. They give the Mexicans a head start when they cross the border, and then chase them across the desert. To make it fair. Race We have to tolerate the blacks and the Mexicans, I guess. The good news is - the very good news - they only make up 25% of the country. So there are plenty of places where they're not. They haven't invaded the Midwest, yet. The Mexicans steal our jobs, and our health care, but they make good food, and quality beer. They also can wash dishes, and bus tables faster than we can. Not to mention their aversion to blazing sun and their ability to work eighteen hour work days, without breaks. The blacks are the best in all the main sports, the blues, jazz, public speaking, singing, and forming gangs. They also make the best rappers and drug dealers. The Orientals are acceptable because they run our food markets, and give us cheap buffets. They also make the best action movies. The Indian people - not the ones that live in teepees - run our gas stations, and drive our cabs. So they have their use. The Environment This is our planet to use to advance Mankind, to make our lives more convenient, safer, and healthier. Which would you rather have, cheap gas and housing, or insure the survival of the Alaskan Biting Fly? Women's Rights This is what happens when women chose to have careers instead of doing what they were meant to do - have and raise our children. You get feminism, abortion and lesbians. Poverty/World Hunger/Global Warming What happened to acid rain? I thought it was suppose to be the ecological disasters of all ecological disasters, back in the 80's. Just as the Exxon Valdez oil spill was suppose to kill all water wildlife, and pollute the entire Prince William Sound and Pacific Ocean. The polar ice caps - you know the ones that are supposed to be completed melted by 2100 and turn us into Waterworld - are getting denser every year. Much like the people who don't shower who think we can "end world hunger" by sending even more aid than we already waste trying to feed the starving poor of the world. There will always be poverty and starving children. No amount of stolen and diverted aid money is going to change that. Foreign Policy We are the greatest country on Earth. We are the beacon of freedom, the symbol of liberty, and the emblem of prosperity throughout the world. If you are a threat to us or to people wanting to be like us, the line to meet Allah and your fifty virgins forms to the left. National Security You may have executed 9/11, but that took several years of planning. We took out the Taliban in under two weeks and Saddam in under a month. Bring it. If you think you can attack our country and kill our citizens again, bring it. Hell doesn't have a "No Vacancy" sign. The U.N. This is where a bunch of whining cry baby hippies gather to prevent us from doing what we need to do to protect the world. It's bad enough we have Berkely, Ca., Manhattan, and the Ivy League here. We have to go overseas and hear the quivering, little girl sobbing there over too. It really matters what the Congo thinks about us taking out a meglomaniacal sadist like Saddam Insane. It's also a place where we get insulted and betrayed by countries we saved from Communists and Hitler. Abortionism, Communism, Liberalism, Democrats, Facism, Atheism, Dictators, Environmentalists, Gay Agenda-ism, Hippies, Animal activism, and Vegetarians Thank you for being evil. It keeps those of us who fight for good busy. ------------ Visit LannyGrant.com or email Lanny Grant: lannygrant@aol.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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