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Feb 26, 2003 It’s an experience everyone has coped with at one time or another. Everyone has had a close friend that they themselves associated with on a regular basis. A friend is supposed to be a person, you turn to in good times or in times of crisis and a friend to share thoughts and ideas with. And then there are the type of “friends” so to speak, that don’t really ever bother looking for you unless they really do want something, not tomorrow, not next week or next year, but when they want something right away fast for their own benefit! I’m sure, we have all known someone like that in our lifetime, perhaps at one time or another, and as much as we try to be careful, with what we say and do, we always seem to step into that darn ditch and end up looking like the jealous or even perhaps psycho, bad guy. It’s sad isn’t it? But it’s so true! This is something that everyone can relate to as it happens to ourselves or people around us. We often go out of our way, to help a friend in need wether they are looking for a job or have relationship trouble, we always want to be a part of their life, be there to help catch their fall, we even lend an ear or a hug, and do our best to lighten their spirits and moods during down time, with stupid jokes or saying that famous line of “ I told you so, dude” We try and do anything to make a friend feel better. But what for? Its simple, its because friends are supposed to CARE! Often times it seems as though, “Friends aren’t really your Friend’s unless they really want something”. Here is what I mean: When “some friends “seem to have it made and are happy with their life and their relationships, these so called friends never seem to come knocking at your door. It’s like they have absolutely everything they need, so what in the world would they want to get a hold of you for? It’s just a waste of time, as we don’t seem to fit into their life or their schedule at that point in time. They just simply truly don’t care if we are happy or sad, or have the time for them. They just come bouncing back into our life when ever they feel they see fit, and demand we put everything on hold so it could be all about them. And yet, they don’t have the time for us, unless they want to brag and show off about something, or their life comes crashing down. It is then, when we “stupid people”, just seem to be on their “SPEED DIAL” at that only moment and time. Other then that, we’re barely ever thought of. It’s basically like they sit back and scratch their head, trying to remember who it is we are and when they finally remember, a light bulb appears above their head with something saying “Oh? Them?” “Yeah I remember him or her, but um vaguely.” “Oh, yeah, I’ll get a hold of him or her when something goes wrong one of these days, which I highly doubt”. Typical scenario, right? Another example would be this: With the economy down people are laid off left and right and are frantically looking for a job so they can pay for their bills, and then there are people who just sit back and wait for others to hand things to them. Talk about having it made. I helped a friend out once, as she was in between jobs, I was already working at the Campus Bookstore, so I figured this friend needed my help and was reaching out, so I did what I could and helped her land a job at the Campus Bookstore, during “MAD RUSH WEEK”. “MAD RUSH WEEK”, is a term associated with the first few weeks of school while students are frantically looking for their books and are browsing in and out of the Bookstore at school. Well after "MAD RUSH WEEK" was slowly coming to an end, my supervisor decided to let me go and said, “We don’t really need you anymore thanks for all your help”. I never questioned any of it and just said thanks for letting me keep busy before school started. After all, that’s a way to pay for your books so you don’t have to shell out any more money that you have already saved up. I went and bought my books and two weeks later this friend whom I helped to get a job, lets me know, “Oh they let you go?” “ I’m so sorry, but hey, I’m still working there and its cool”. Cool for her I thought, but not cool for me, after all I’m the one who got this extremely ungrateful girl the job to begin with, she just got lucky! After a few weeks, she was let go as well because school finally started they didn’t need anyone to help out anymore. I just thought to myself, You do something good for people, and then things turn out this way as you feel a sense of betrayal and disappointment. You help a friend with a job and they end up keeping it longer then you do? That’s not right. That’s not fair. I thought, I got you the job and we work there together, but instead I let go before her, and then I get it rubbed in by her that I wasn’t working there anymore and she was. Nice, huh? A simple thanks would have been nice, even though you think, friends help friends so a thanks is kind of unnecessary. I have always tried to help out people whenever I can, as I like helping people. Its part of my nature, but this situation with the job was just really unexpected. I normally don’t ask for a thank you, since they say you do something nice for people and it usually returns to you in some way, shape or form. I used to believe it, but right now I’m kind of pending between believing and disbelieving it. There are of course many other examples out there in life, as life isn’t fair but it definitely doesn’t have to turn out this way. So, beware,“Friends aren’t really your Friends unless they want something” That’s usually the common scenario, although it doesn’t apply to everyone but it still applies to many. About the author: Kimberly Nguyen is a full time college student / Journalism Major. She has 3 Years of Print Journalism experience, having worked as a Staff Writer, covering all aspects of a Student Newspaper, as well as having been Sports Editor twice on her College Newspaper. Email Kimberly Nguyen: kimmyluvscoffee@yahoo.com ------------ Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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