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Mar 26, 2004 Random thoughts while considering trivial things like the possible extinction of civilization or whether a Chicago team will ever win a World Series: “We haven’t discouraged the terrorists, we’ve only made them more fanatical” Ever hear that one? Pardon me, but don’t the terrorists want to destroy us and our way of life? What happens when they REALLY get mad? If there are two sides to every story, is John Kerry on both of them? Andy Rooney says he won’t go see “The Passion of The Christ” because he doesn’t need to spend nine bucks “to have a few laughs”. Hmmm. What would it take, Andy, home movies of Buchenwald? If you have to work at hating God that hard, won’t it give you a headache? Rivers of honey and rivers of wine. 72 virgins to deflower. This is what that 16-year-old Palestinian boy says awaited him if he had the guts to blow up the explosives strapped around his body that older Palestinian terrorists had conned him into wearing. He was paid the equivalent of 22 bucks (for his mother to have) to do the deed, but when confronted he got cold feet and was eventually disarmed by Israeli soldiers. He later told reporters that it was his recent study of the Koran that enlightened him to the virtues of suicide bombing. Yep, that sounds like the mind of God to me. Kill others violently and I will fulfill all of your carnal desires in another dimension. (I wonder where the 72 virgins come from, eh?) Jihad is a Holy War in which the Muslims work to convert the world to Islam by sword if necessary and to exterminate those who will not be converted. This aspect of Islam is fundamental to the faith. Gee, do you think all these liberals who tell us that Islam is actually a “religion of peace” are ignorant, or are they just plain stupid? Did you know that before Michael Moore (the US auto-worker’s champion!) began being chauffeured to various events that he drove a Honda? Did you know illegal aliens comprise 20% of the population of our Federal Prisons? I guess THAT is a job most citizens don’t want, either. Did you know that hospitals and schools all along the US-Mexican border are experiencing budget crises because of the cost of services to illegal aliens? It only took a handful of terrorists to collapse the Twin Towers but it will take about 120 million illegal aliens to collapse the US economy and it is estimated that we could have that many illegal aliens in this country by the year 2050. Now, that is WAY more than all the possible gardeners and nannies the Hollywood crowd could ever afford to keep on staff! John Kerry has a radical new plan for improving the economy. It’s called “Identification, Cooperation and Cohabitation with Success.” The meat of the concept is to find, woo and marry a rich woman. Works every time, says Kerry. By the way, the new definition of “Negative Campaigning” is having the temerity to publish the actual quotes or voting record of the Democrat in a political race. But calling the Republican in the race a liar is just good old fighting spirit. Just so you’ll know! Gadhafi didn’t decide to change his evil ways after seeing the US knock off Saddam. He just suddenly mellowed in his old age! What a guy! Hey, Spain, good call giving in to the terrorists! Funny how there is a link between Al Qaeda and Iraq in the minds of the terrorists, in the minds of the Spaniards, in the minds of the Iraqis and yet none at all in the minds of those like Ted Kennedy. I guess the minds of those like Ted Kennedy are too busy remembering long drives on short piers to focus on reality. But isn’t Spain now ahead of France for the title of “Wimpiest nation of the year?” It can be officially documented that 52 of the 55 framers of the Constitution would be denied a shot at a federal judgeship by Democrats on the grounds that they are “out of the mainstream”. Why? They belonged to churches!!! We all know that church-goers are bad, bad, bad! You think gay marriage is bad? What happens when the guy next door wants to marry a dog? Hey, what happens if it turns out he wants to marry YOUR dog? Kind of makes you think, eh? Finally, baseball experts agree that both the Chicago Cubs and the Chicago White Sox could make it into the World Series this year. Sorry, I figured I would say at least one thing that was outrageous. ------------ About the author: Kimbal Ross Binder is a husband of one wife and parent of six child units of various sizes. He is a tennis bum, karaoke singer, punster and a reformed liberal who now admires Rush Limbaugh and hates to miss Fox News in the evening. You can pass along plaudits and invectives to: radarbinder@comcast.net ------------ |
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