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Ken Hughes

Can A Computer Have A Political Bias?
Apr 28, 2004

I’m pretty sure my old computer is a Registered Democrat. Every time I write something unfavorable regarding Democrats strange things happen with my computer. Well almost every time. It doesn’t seem to care what I say about John Kerry of Teddy Kennedy but let me mention the Clintons or other prominent Democrats just once and my computer locks up, I have to re-boot it. It does other strange things, like the screen rolling or the screen turning green when I suggest Liberals are liars and poor sports. Every time I come down on liberals my computer retaliates. When I log onto Fox News web site it locks up big time. My computer is definitely a liberal.

I’ve had a computer guy in several times to see if it’s for real or just my imagination. Well I guess you know all those computer guys are liberals. This fix-it-guy and my computer sit there and carry on a conversation right in front of me in a language I can’t understand. After about an hour Mr. Fix-it hands me a bill for fifty bucks and leaves. My computer flutters and the screen goes blank. I’m back to re-booting.

Finally I decided to surrender. I went out looking for a new computer. My first stop was Best Buy. I heard they were a good place to pick up a computer cheap. I informed the clerk he would have to guarantee the new computer had no political leanings and I would expect it in writing. He called the manager and the manager called the cops. Now I’m excluded from shopping at any Best Buy in my area. I tried several of the local computer stores but I was about as welcome as a new virus. I refuse to shop at Sam’s Club or Wal- Mart. My opinion of that organization is not something I can put in print.

A new Costco opened in my neighborhood recently, I’m a member, I’m very happy in my dealings with Costco. I’m on the Costco diet, every afternoon I drop by Costco, I go up and down the isle sampling the free-bees. After about an hour and two circles around the store I’m good to go until the next day. Cuts down on the cost of food you know.

Getting back to my hunt for a compatible computer. I explain to the Costco clerk assisting me what I expect from a computer. I expect it to run at a reasonable speed, to have sufficient memory, not to lock up on me. I don’t mind my spelling being corrected, I would prefer it do it automatically or with sound and not with the red squiggly lines. When it disagrees with my grammar I expect it not to make a big deal out of it, just change to what ever is correct and get on with it. We went over other bells and whistles available. I was beginning to feel comfortable with my choice of a computer store. I did have that one last question.

I ask if Costco would guarantee this new computer would be politically neutral? The poor clerk looked at me like he thought I was out of my mind, I assured him I was serious. I didn’t want to go through what I had for the past four years. I wanted my computer not to argue with me like Democrats always seem to do. I was told to wait, the store manager come over to speak with me. I could tell he had dealt with a lot of nutty people in his day by the way he patronized me. Never the less he acted as though he was taking my request seriously and assured he would look into it and get back to me. I believed him, he seemed like a nice enough fellow.

Ok I know computers don’t come with a political bias, I’m not that dumb. It was that computer fix-it-guy that set me up. He programmed all that damn Democratic stuff into my old computer. I’ll still use him but you can bet I’ll be watching him next time.

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About the Author: Ken Hughes is a retired businessman. A political junkie who's passion is the re-education of Liberals and Term Limits for Congress. He has had very little sucess at either. Email Ken Hughes: uncleken@sbcglobal.net

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