HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Nov 25, 2003 I wonder if I where a real journalist what it would be like interviewing Hillary Clinton? I’ll pretend for a moment, ok? REPORTER, - President Clinton this is 2058; it’s the Golden anniversary of your Presidency. How do you feel? HILLARY, – Oh, I’m not sure ask me again in fifty years. REPORTER, – Madam President, what would you say where your greatest accomplishments. REPORTER, – What about Chelsea, how was she conceived? HILLARY, – Read the Bible. REPORTER, – There must be something other than that? HILLARY, - Well, getting rid of all those pesky amendments in the Constitution. It isn’t necessary to have a lot of rules when there’s strong leadership. Do you realize the Government is caring for more people than any time in our history? I have been able to re-fund most of the programs Democrats created in the past. Especially welfare for those poor Single African American Mothers. Do you know African Americans are the only true Americans. REPORTER, - No I didn’t. REPORTER, – Nationalizing Energy, Transportation, Communications, Health Care, Legal Services, Housing and raising income taxes to 115% seems a bit drastic, wouldn’t you say? HILLARY, – No we have trained professionals determining the needs of people, It’s much more efficient than having everyone scraping trying to make a living. Trying to do it on their own wasn’t working for some. It was time for the Government to step in, especially for the children. This way I decide who gets what. The 115% tax increase was only for the wealthy. When they are no longer wealthy their tax rate will go down. You see this way everyone shares equally and no one gets his or her feelings hurt. You know self-esteem is very important. REPORTER, - Madam President the war on terror seems to have been bogged down for some time now. Do you have any comments? HILLARY, - Yes, next week I am appointing General Wesley Clark XII to replace General Wesley Clark XI as Director of the Department of Terror. I feel this will be a positive step toward ending terror as we know it. REPORTER, – What about-----?. HILLARY, – I really don’t have time for any more questions. I have an important meeting with the Vice President, Michael Moore. I’ll send Bill over to finish the interview. BILL, - Hill, eh President Clinton said I am to fill you in on the facts regarding her Administration. What can I spin for you? Ha Ha just kidding. REPORTER, - How was President Clinton able to get an amendment to the Constitution passed making her President for life? BILL, - You know Hill, eh. The President when she wants something she usually gets her way. When the Supreme Court ruled all political activity un-constitutional that opened a lot of doors for Hill, eh The President. BILL, - You know it really is sweet the way she walks over Congress and the Media. I sure wish I could have come up with that one. REPORTER, - I’ll bet you do. REPORTER, - Now that you are no longer President how do you spend your time? BILL, – Oh, I spend mornings in Sex Therapy. Afternoons I usually go down to Hooters for a few hours. On weekends I go over to the Home to visit with Jesse Jackson, Johnny Cochran, Tom Daschle, That guy Al that worked for me. Most of the old gang’s there. You know I never was the Real President, I was only fronting for Hillary. REPORTER, – I ask Mrs. Clinton about her relationship with you. What can you tell me? BILL, – I never had sex with that woman! REPORTER, – Then how was Chelsea conceived? BILL< – Read the Bible. It’s kind of like what is is if you know what I mean. REPORTER, – Do you think America is better off as a Socialist Nation rather than a Capitalist Nation? BILL, – Hillary thinks so. REPORTER, – The founding fathers never intended for America to become what it has. What do you say about this? BILL, – Those Guy’s never meet Hillary. BILL, - I have to bug-out now, talk to Chelsea. The Secret Service is here to escort me to the little boys room, ha ha. When you got to go, you got to go. REPORTER, - Chelsea may I ask you a few questions? CHELSEA, - like sure why not dude. REPORTER, - You hold a position in your Mothers cabinet, am I correct in that? CHELSEA, – Like if that’s what the “B” says, I guess. REPORTER, – Do you live in the White House? CHELSEA, - No dude, I got my own digs. Me and this dude who hung with Ja Lo got a crib in Baltimore. REPORTER, – Do you think you’ll ever become President? CHELSEA,- No way Jose, that’s too intense. Like I have to go out and find myself before I can really know who I am. It’s a long involved process dude. REPORTER,- One more question, What do you know about your conception? CHELSEA, – Like really dude, didn’t you ever read the Bible. That concludes my interview with the Clintons. I HOPE YOU ALL GET MY POINT! ------------ About the Author: Ken Hughes is a retired businessman. A political junkie who's passion is the re-education of Liberals and Term Limits for Congress. He has had very little sucess at either. Email Ken Hughes: uncleken@wwnet.net Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
