Designer Laws

Articles

Joe Magoo

Designer Laws
July 3, 2003

There is talk of some cities wanting to make toy guns illegal. Yes, a law against the sale of toy guns.

According to the Second Amendment, American Citizens have the right to own and bear guns. This was written in 1791 when Americans were a religious (that is they adhered to one of the many Protestant Creeds) and moral people. If American Citizens are no longer a religious and moral people, then maybe we should let them have toy guns, and take away the real ones.

I could go duck hunting with a Super-Soaker, and, if I snap, the worst that could happen is I give my partner a severe cold. A neighbor who flips-out will only be able to track you down, and put a rubber dart on your behind. The availability of bricks, pipes and SUV's is another subject.

This ludicrous scenario, these freakish laws, and the farcical approach of the State-Church is what one might expect when mankind tries to quickly plug-up a crumbling dam. Believing themselves to be autonomous beings, the State worshipers start designing their own laws. Their cry is, "Quick, do something before we all die!" That light at the end of the tunnel is, after all, a train, and not the bright utopia an enlightened oligarchy was to bring us.

At the beginning of the last century, Methodists and Pentecostals warned against smoking because they wanted people to respect the bodies God gave them. That is, out of respect for the Almighty, people were implored not to smoke. If one cares to look it up, the Sunday, December 30, 1900 issue of The Brooklyn Daily Eagle, in a story by C.M.Skinner, cites smoking as harmful and nicotine as a reason. In the 40's and 50's the Evangelicals also preached against smoking.

All these groups were told to shut-up and keep their religious and moral ideas to themselves. They did shut-up! Now, the State-Church, made up of the Grand-children and fellow-travelers of those who inveighed against the 'religious nuts', won't even let you smoke in a bar in N.Y.C. All hail the State! The Evangelicals were only asking for personal responsibility, the State demands obeisance. Everyday I see the excommunicated out in-front of their offices, displaying the scarlet 'C' between their fingers.

Back in the 60's I learned in Sunday School that it was a sin to hate. This held true if the hate was for groups or individuals. Hate was a sin that I would one-day have to answer for. My judgment would come from a Person who was Holy. I could take that scenario, because it made sense to me. Now, the State has made hate a crime, and you best believe the State will not wait for a 'mythical' after-life to bring judgment. If you do not subscribe to the State Creed, and you commit a hate-crime, you will be judged in a swift manner. The 'divine' State doesn't have an eternity to make its might known.

In the Christian Church, I learned not to use improper language or tell crude female jokes. I attended voluntarily and these laws applied to all Church members. I'm not a member of the State-Church, and its designer judgments only apply to those who will not bow in fear. I've seen many people, having used the wrong language, come before the State and confess with tears-a-flowing. I will not confess to the State-Church.

Gluttony is spoken against in my Bible, but sometimes I fail at obeying this guidance. Now, I hear that the State wants to design a law for this also. Fast-food outlets across this nation are shaking, while the 'chunky' take their places alongside smokers, with a scarlet 'F' on their bellies.

My Church has 10 big LAWS, and they cover all that's needed to be covered. The State-Church rejected these 10 LAWS, and in their place have designed 100's of little freakish laws. These laws are manipulated and massaged in order to bring about the desired worship --- of the State.

I refuse to worship the State, and, while I must tithe to the State-Church, I will not join it. What I plan on doing is to stand on Sixth Ave. in N.Y.C., and smoke a cigar while squirting my water pistol. I know this doesn't come-up to the designer standards of Sen. Kennedy, Rev. Jackson, Bishops Oprah, Koppel, Jennings and other ministers of the State-Church, but maybe I can get away with it. I just hope they're not all-seeing. "Quick, grab that sinner with the cigar and water pistol!!" Oh me, mens rea.

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About the author: Joe Magoo is trained as a Theologian and Church Historian. He resides on Long Island, N.Y. He's in love with Ann Coulter, but she's seven feet tall, and Joe is only Five-Five. Email: joe572001us@yahoo.com

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