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Jan 7, 2003 My son has reached the age where I can no longer innocuously let fall those four-letter words, no matter what the situation. Everything I can say, he can say better. (But it always sounds worse.) If the proverbial dropped brick crunches my toe or the hammer splatters my thumb, I’m left with my muffled, raging cries and wet-fish phrases like “fudgesicles” or “cheese and rice.” It’s just not the same, and it’s just doesn’t seem fair. So in the spirit of a man reminiscing through an old yearbook, I recently compiled a list of old standby four-letter bombs that I can no longer drop. They looked so lonely abandoned on the page, but I thought of my son and his innocent ears, and I knew that’s where they belonged, not echoing out of my big mouth. Then I thought of some other words I didn’t want him to hear, words even I didn’t use. I added them to the list. Before I knew it, I had enough four-letter words that I could have offended just about everyone, but that wasn’t the point. Let’s just say I found words for A, B, C, D, the list went on and on. And I discovered after examining my list (I actually wrote each entire word out), that we can divide curse words into three broad categories: sexual, racial and (my favorite, which I‘ll discuss) “the potty mouth”, which includes infinite adult variations on juvenile words like “butthead.” This last category is the least offensive of the three because no one group or sex is singled out. (It’s refreshing to know that anyone can have horse manure for brains). It’s also the potty mouth category that offers the greatest variety of artistic expression. Potty mouths are often quite poetic in their ludicrous linking of four-letter phrases. But other than a crude sort of locker room camaraderie, I wondered, what purpose does cursing really serve? As was already alluded to in the hammer/thumb example, we curse as a reaction to pain. When something hurts us, we curse at it. Now, whether it makes sense to yell an inanimate object is another discussion. But let’s look at other kinds of pain. Take stress for example. Imagine you are at work. Imagine that no one is actually striking you with a hammer, but for no apparent reason you unleash a string of fiery expletives. The cumbersome burden of a difficult or stupid life can finally wear you down to the point where you start cursing at invisible forces. At this point, you may find co-workers backing away from and smiling awkwardly. They might offer you reassurance. “It’s okay,” they say. “It’s okay.” You don’t believe them so you curse some more. You curse until you’ve scared away the demons only you can see. And maybe that’s what this brand of cursing is really about, exorcism. You’re simply trying to scare away pain. But what else is cursing for? It’s a form of social rebellion. Teenagers like to stand around and spit and curse and smoke cigarettes. Then they spit and curse and smoke some more. Cursing, like smoking, has a stigma attached to it. It’s seen as something that bikers and sailors do. But what else does cursing do? It can put a razor-sharp edge on a nonsensical scream by forcing it through certain syllables. Try this experiment and see what I mean. Put your thumb on a table and smash it with a hammer. Then scream “sit!” Repeat the experiment, but this time fiddle around with the sounds in the word “sit.” See if you feel any difference. Perhaps you don’t. Perhaps you’re one of the few people who have mastered your emotions (and your manners) to the point that you never curse, or even feel the need to curse. Many of you “non-cursing” people may be religious or spiritual and maintain a certain sense of inner peace. You find no value in cursing. To you it is vulgar, deplorable and downright offensive. I imagine if you would smash your finger, you would take a deep breath, say a quick prayer and then find some ice. I, on the other hand, would probably storm around cursing like a fool and blaming the hammer, unless, of course, my son was around. In which case, I would say “fiddlesticks.” There certainly are good reasons to quit cursing or at least cut down. People who rely heavily on curse words appear uneducated. If someone constantly uses particular curse-word nouns and curse-word adjectives, they are certainly intellectually lazy. There is an abundance of vocabulary choices to describe unpleasant things, so expand your intellectual horizons. If you give up cursing, you might become a little smarter. If like me however, you’re having a hard time with the old habit, there is, at least, a good reason why. There are no other words quite so powerful as curse words. No other words carry quite the same punch as a well-barked curse. So do what I do. Don’t curse in front of your children, but take advantage of your four-letter freedom while you’re alone. Maybe we’ll get the best of both world. Or maybe we’ll just be ******* hypocrites. ------------ Jeff Milligan lives in West Sadsbury Township, Pennsylvania with his wife and two children. He falls in the following demographic categories: Age 25 - 34. Race: Whitish. Shaving: Does not enjoy it.. Email Jeff: JIam41@aol.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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