Losing That Vacation

Articles

Holly Winter
Living The Life Of Holly

Losing That Vacation
June 24, 2003

I know. How ridiculous. Embarrassing, really. I mean. I’m such a baby about arriving at the end of my vacation. Although I am able to refrain from crying and wailing and clutching to a beach chair and downright refusing to leave, I considered it. I mean. Maybe I could stay there. Maybe I would like living there. Living anywhere else. Living in a new place is sort of like traveling, isn’t it?

“Bye.” Darlin-man said at my gate. I had the earlier flight.

“That’s it? Bye. Like, ‘Bye, I’m going out on the beach to read for a while?” I asked.

“Yeah. Like that.” He said. He couldn’t look at me.

He gave me a hug and a kiss and another hug. He ran his fingers through my hair and down my cheek. “Thanks for coming with me.” He whispered. He had his carry on bag next to him, and his ticket in his hand.

“You are so welcome.” I said, softly, giving him another kiss. “Any time. Or should I say, every time?”

He smiled. “Have a good flight.” He said. “See you in Denver.”

I nodded and blew him a sad kiss.

I was miserable. Oh. I know. I will never understand the part of me that craves a journey. The part that wants the newness of a remote place to envelope me and show me the distinction in the unknown. Travel so enlivens me that I feel deadened when it is over. My adrenalin rush was wearing off. I was suddenly unbearably tired. I walked to the plane dragging my feet.

“Hi. I’m Holly from jetBlue.” I said to the flight attendants on board. “I have a ticket in the back, but let me know if I can help you in any way.” I always make that offer. Because there might be a child traveling alone, or someone who is really anxious about flying and I don’t mind lending a hand.

“Girlfriend.” The purser sang. “You are NOT going to the back. You look way too FIRST CLASS to me!”

I smiled. This was not my airline, and I wasn’t jump seating since Darlin-man had bought my ticket. But my airline is so good to other airlines by letting all other flight attendants ride on us for free, that I get star treatment when I travel.

He pushed his hip out to the side and placed his hand on it. “We have a seat up here for you in the FRONT, if you think that you could use a little COMFORT in your life?”

I laughed. “Comfort would be great.” That’s the best thing about working in the airline industry. Getting treated like royalty on every plane you take.

I settled into my seat and let the reality wash over me. Over. It’s over. It’s over. Oh. Sure. I was glad for what had happened. But. My trip was over. Over. Over.

And getting home would be a chore. Sure. That first leg was paid for, and the train ride up to Ft. Lauderdale went smoothly enough. But I wouldn’t be able to find an empty seat on a flight out of Florida that night. So I had to grab a hotel room, and then wait all the next day at the airport as I watched flight after flight take off without space for me. I know. The fantasy of flying for free was laughing in my face again.

I finally made it to JFK airport in New York City that night, which is the airport that I work out of. I only had a two hour wait till my Denver flight. I walked over to the cafeteria.

“Holly? Is that you?”

“Depends who’s asking.” I said automatically, and then remembered that I was at my home terminal. Maybe I should be closer to respectful? Ok. I was safe. It was one of my favorite pilots, Tinny.

“You’re back?” He asked, happily. “We’ve been planning a surprise party for your return.”

“Surprise!” I said. “I’m not back yet. But you can still buy my water.”

He laughed. “No way. I’m not buying till you’re back at work.”

Ok. So. Talking about work meant that my vacation was really over. Ok. I could deal.

“When ARE you coming back?”

“Well. Not sure. JetBlue is having some trouble deciding what to do with an epileptic. They would prefer that I got rid of my label before I return to work.”

He looked surprised. “Can you do that?”

“No.” I laughed.

“So what’s going to happen?”

“Don’t know. For now they are going to keep on harassing my neurologist and ask him for more letters stating that I’m disabled. He’s getting angry.”

“Let me know if there is something I can do.” He worried.

“You can buy my water.”

He laughed. “I’ll buy your water the next time we have a trip to San Francisco. That was the best trip.”

“Yeah. It was nice.” I joked. It was really fun. Five days with a crew of six people who all got along great. Everyone still talks about it.

“You going home?” He asked.

“Yup.”

“Why don’t you fly a redeye with us to Salt Lake tonight? Just for fun? You can ride up front.”

“No way. I only talk to pilots when I’m paid. Unless you want to trade your trip and fly the Denver route. I would hang up front on that flight.”

“Nope.” He said. “No time to trade. But next time I see you, I want to hear about that tan.” I watched as he ran for his plane knowing that visits are always short in this field.

Yeah. That tan. That vacation. That beach. That boyfriend. That time. That incredible time.

I took a deep breath and held it in. I would let it out very, very slowly. Don’t worry. I will start breathing again. Really. I will…As soon as I start planning my next travel adventure.

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About the author: Holly Winter is a teacher and a writer and a flight attendant living in Denver, Colorado, USA. She can be reached at her website or email: Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com

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