Kumquat or Not?

Articles

Holly Winter
Living The Life Of Holly

Kumquat or Not?
May 29, 2003

“Kumquat? You want a kumquat mojito?” I asked, unsure and impressed at the same time. That’s what I liked about Darlin-man. All of the mixed feelings he could stir up in me.

“Sure. I’ve never had one before. Have you?”

“No. What’s a kumquat?”

“Who knows. It must be good, or they wouldn’t serve it, right?”

“Right.” I agreed. How different we were. I would stick to the same routine forever, and be happy with it. He was always trying something new. What was it they say about opposites?

The waitress was ready for our orders.

“Two kumquat mojitos, please.” He said.

“How would you define a kumquat?” I asked.

“Well...” She held up her hands in a ball shape. “It’s sort of like a little sour orange.”

“Oh. I’m good with that.” I said, pleased to try something new.

“You are?” He asked. “A sour orange?” He wrinkled his face. “Better make that one kumquat and one plain.”

I wondered. Was this indicative of a man who likes the way things appear until he learns more about them? You know. Like our dating history? He liked me when he first met me, then dropped me cold.

He held his hands in a little round ball. “You want a sour orange?”

“Sure. Kind of like a lemon, only orangey.”

This was the first date after our break up. I was on hyper alert. I had let him pick me up at home, but hadn’t told him the plan. I didn’t know the plan. I had no idea how I would be feeling. I didn’t know how long the date would last. What if I wanted to go home early?

“Bija’s book signing reception was held here.”

“Great place.” He said, looking around.

“It was awesome. Lots of champagne.”

“I thought you didn’t like champagne.”

“I don’t.”

I couldn’t relax. Why had he changed his mind? Why had he decided that he did want to spend time with me? Why had I decided that I should give him another chance? For what? Another slap in the face?

I took a deep breath. “It’s weird being here with you.”

We sipped our drinks.

He sat back in his chair. “Too weird?” He looked away.

I couldn’t look at him either. “No.” Ok. Maybe I wanted to be here.

We drank quietly.

I looked him in the eye. “How do I know that you won’t go home and send me another good bye e- mail?”

“I want to be here. Do you believe that?”

“Yes.”

“Switch.” He commanded. Without losing a beat we swapped drinks and tasted the other.

“Yours is sour.” He said.

“Yours is bland.” I smiled. “Switch.” We were both pleased to get our own drink back.

He leaned forward. “Did I ruin it? Did I make it so we’ll never have what we had? I want what we had.”

“I want more.” I said, quietly.

He stared at me intently. He was ready to listen. “What do you want?”

“I want someone who wants to be a part of my life. I want something real. I want to double date.”

He laughed. “What? Double date? With whom?”

“Oh. Man. I have so many married friends and friends who are dating. They all wanted to meet you. But I hardly ever knew your schedule. Between being on call and emergency room call, I have no idea when we could get together.”

“How come you never said anything?” He asked.

“Well. My first step was to ask for more of a heads up on when the next date would be.”

“Oh. Yeah. I remember that conversation. How did that go for you?”

We laughed. That conversation had sparked the break up.

We moved into the restaurant.

The Hostess greeted me. “Oh. Holly, you requested a booth, right? Ok. It’ll be just a few minutes.”

“Thanks.” I said, quietly.

Darlin-man was amused. “You requested a booth?”

“Yes, I did.”

“We’ve had to leave restaurants because you said that if you couldn’t sit at the corner of a square table, right next to me, then we couldn’t stay there.”

I smiled. “You don’t deserve to be within arm’s reach.”

He mumbled all the way to our booth about arms reach and having to be so far away. I laughed at him. Ok. So. Maybe the ice had been broken. I was sort of sorry that we didn’t have a table. I wanted to be a little closer.

Oh. No way. I didn’t tell him that.

We sat across from each other. It might be easier to stay mad at him if he wasn’t so incredibly cute. I watched as he played his way through the wine list. How was it that he could make absolutely everything fun?

He reached under the table and grabbed my leg and placed it on his knee. “Arm’s reach, hmm.” He unzipped my knee high boot and slid his hand inside. He let his blue eyes stare right into mine. Oh. Man. Those staring eyes.

“Are you going to let me back in?” He asked.

“You mean, back in my boots?” I asked, playfully.

“No. Are you going to let me back into your life?” He asked, intensely.

“I think so.” I said.

He smiled and exhaled. “Then what are you going to do this week?”

“Cancel lunch dates?”

He kept rubbing my leg. “How did you get so many dates? I didn’t even move your toothbrush.”

Yeah. I still had his toothbrush too. But. I wasn’t ready to tell him that. And. I wasn’t ready to sit next to him. But. I was ready to let down a wall or two.

Who knows what I would find there.

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About the author: Holly Winter is a teacher and a writer and a flight attendant living in Denver, Colorado, USA. She can be reached at her website or email: Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com

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