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 Holly Winter Living The Life Of Holly May 19, 2003 “Hi Holly.” I knew it was Darlin-man. He had e-mailed to say that he would call at 8:00pm. He was right on time. “Hi.” A long pause. A really long pause. HE wanted to talk. I was not going to carry this conversation. Not at all. “How’s Holly?” I waited. Um. What was he asking? “Fine.” A pause. “Man. It was windy up here today. Everything was blowing around.” Nothing. I wasn’t being mean. I wasn’t withholding. I had nothing to say. He continued. “Was it windy there too?” “Yes.” Another long pause. Long enough to fit a whole long Mac truck through the sides without scraping the edges. Still. The woman of so many words had absolutely nothing to say. “How have you been feeling?” “Sick.” Oh. I know. But. It was one of my complaints. Here he had had a girlfriend on medical leave, yet he never asked any particulars about her illness. But that was my fault too. I tried so hard to not focus on all the bits about my illness, especially because I was sick all the time. I was the one who didn’t want to drone on and on. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know about the epilepsy. I was the one who wasn’t sharing with him. I had agreed to talk to him. He wanted to talk. The man was trying. I took a deep breath. “My speech problems from the overexertion from the hike are almost gone. My speech is still garbled from time to time. I still have many tired days.” “What does the doctor say?” “He says it will take time to regulate the meds again.” There. I had talked. It wasn’t easy. I had put up walls. Big concrete walls in between us. I honestly didn’t even know if I could put those walls down. “So. I have done so many heart procedures this week in the Cath lab that they are joking about renaming it after me.” I smiled. “No bankers hours this week, hmm?” “No way. When they called last night at three o’clock AM to ask about a patient, I had trouble waking up. They said that they needed me in the emergency room immediately. I said all groggily, ‘Do you mean right now?’ Oh. They are going to tease me about that for a long, long time.” He laughed. “I bet they will.” “I had to stay in the ER for three hours while they worked on several patients. It has been a really busy week.” “Do you have more heart patient emergencies during full moons?” “I don’t know.” He relaxed. He had gotten me talking. “At my last hospital you could set a clock by the full moon. I haven’t noticed it here in Colorado. “When I was teaching Special Education, the kids would be way off during the full moon. It was awful for the teachers.” Guess that the thought of being ‘off’ brought him back ‘on’ to his agenda. “Holly. I want to see you.” Nothing. I had nothing to say. Why let down my walls? Especially when there were so many other men knocking. And these men had lots of enthusiasm, and no track record of being hurtful. No. I hadn’t found a replacement yet. He cleared his throat. “Are you there?” “Yes.” I said, softly. “I thought you had gone. It was so quiet.” He waited a moment. “If you want we can do lunch.” “Ok. We can do lunch.” I already had lunch plans the next day. How dare he think that he could call at the last minute and I would be available. I was sort of looking forward to that lunch. “Holly. I don’t want to do lunch. If you have dinner plans, than that’s fine.” He waited. “We can do dinner.” Maybe that would serve him right. I would keep my lunch date, then see him for dinner too. “Thanks for agreeing to see me…” “You know.” I said. “You have some competition.” “Maybe we shouldn’t go.” He said. “I don’t want to complicate your life.” Nothing. I said nothing. I had nothing to say. He waited. I waited. It was a very long time. He cleared his throat. “Then how about I pick you up at six?” “Ok.” I said, barely audibly. ------------ About the author: Holly Winter is a teacher and a writer and a flight attendant living in Denver, Colorado, USA. She can be reached at her website or email: Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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