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![]() Holly Winter Living The Life Of Holly May 14, 2003 Eliza’s blood pressure was going up. And it was entirely my fault. I had dropped the bomb way too fast. “When did this happen?” She demanded. “Weeks ago.” “Why did you wait utill now to tell me?” “I called you.” “Yeah. But you didn’t leave much of a message, did you? You said a lot was going on…” “Hey. We’ve all been busy.” “Holly. I wasn’t that busy.” She stared at me hard. “Ok. You need to fill me in. Everything. What happened? Last I heard you were still dating happily.” “We were.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I couldn’t tell if she was more upset that we had stopped dating, or that I hadn’t told her about it yet. “Ok. What happened on the last date?” “Um. It was a Saturday night.” “Where did you go?” “We started at the Cuban Restaurant, drinking Mojitos.” “What were you wearing?” “Eliza. I looked good.” I sighed. She wasn’t kidding. She wanted to know all the details. This could take hours. “You sure?” She asked, crossing her arms. She was my fashion coordinator. “I’m sure. I looked good. Short skirt, that red top that you like.” “Cause right now you only look so-so. You don’t look so good. You sure you looked good that night?” “Eliza? You don’t like my jeans? You don’t think I look hot in anything? What kind of friend are you?” I mocked. “I promise. I looked good.” She threw up her hands in defeat. “Sorry. I’m upset.” “I know.” “Ok. What happened next. I have to hear EVERYTHING.” “We went to the Celtic to have another drink before dinner. We started talking about what we wanted from the relationship.” “Ok. What did he want?” “He said that he was happy. Had everything he wanted.” “That’s bad.” “I know. I tried to pry, but he kept saying that he didn’t want anything else.” “Ok. What did you ask for?” “I just wanted more of a heads up on when our next date would be.” She sat back and considered everything she was hearing. “That’s it?” “Yes.” She shook her head slowly. “You sure?” She asked. “Yes.” “Holly. Something scared him.” “Well. There was this marriage talk in there that he misunderstood.” “Oh. God. What did you say?” She asked, leaning forward. “No nothing like that. I said that it was too bad that I didn’t fit into more of a norm where I would have married young, and taught in a little classroom for years, and eaten TV dinners in front of the TV with my little children and my little husband scattered all around me.” “Oh. I know that norm well.” She said with her eyes glassing over. “I wonder about it too. If only…” “I know. I never WANTED that. I just see so many other people who seem to be happy that way. Too bad it can’t be that easy for me.” “Me too.” She said, as she considered her husband sitting in sweats and a baseball cap at his computer while he slurped his Diet Coke. She was pretty sure he didn’t act that way when they were dating. “I know. Well. It scared him. He thought that I was making a wish list.” “WHAT?” “Yeah. And he didn’t ask about it.” I sighed. “Oh no.” “Well. I don’t know how he managed to choke down his dinner.” “Oh. Holly. That’s terrible.” She said, laughing uncontrollably. “The next day I got a good bye e-mail.” “Ouch.” She stopped laughing. “I know. See. I can have anything I want. But. I have never wanted that.” “But why didn’t you insist on seeing him so that you could talk?” “No way. He said he was done. I supported his decision and said that we should have no contact.” “Holly. That seems really cold to me.” “I know. His e-mail was really cold.” I agreed. “The whole thing.” She said, shivering. “You both liked each other. What makes you think that you can just walk away from that? You knew he misunderstood, but you didn’t even try to explain?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Why should I explain. He said that he was done.” “Now what?” “He wants to talk.” “You will talk to that man. And then you will report back to me.” “I don’t know.” “You will talk to him. E-mail him and tell him to call you.” “Eliza. There are plenty of other man who I can spend time with who aren’t as apathetic.” “Girl. This is the first man that you have liked in how long?” “I know.” “Talk to him.” “Maybe.” “Talk to him. Then report back to me.” “There is something else.” “What?” She asked. I know. She thought that I was trying to hedge on calling him. But. This was the hardest part of the whole thing. I hated admitting this part to anyone. “I sent him an e-mail during our relationship that was very private. It was something that I wrote for his eyes only.” “Ok.” “After we broke it off, he forwarded it to someone else.” “Holly. My head is going to explode. Why have you waited till now to tell this to me?” “His friend messed up. When she went to reply to the e-mail, she accidentally replied to me. So I knew that she had read it.” “Oh. Holly. That’s such a breach of trust.” She said, leaning back into the couch for support. “I know.” “Ok.” She sat up quickly. She turned her body and faced me. Her breathing had finally evened out. She seemed a lot scarier now that she had calmed down. “Um. Eliza? You’re making me nervous.” “I am the wrong person for you to be talking to. You need to be talking to him.” “I don’t know.” “Call him. And report back to me.” “Maybe.” ------------ About the author: Holly Winter is a teacher and a writer and a flight attendant living in Denver, Colorado, USA. She can be reached at her website or email: Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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