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 Holly Winter Living The Life Of Holly May 5, 2003 My relationship guru was ready to lather me with advice as we sat down to lunch. “Holly. It may be time for you to reconsider this dating roller coaster.” She said. Ok. So. Maybe right now being single wasn’t feeling so great. Well. Not since my recent, sudden break up with my boyfriend. “Have you started dating?” Nellie prompted. “Yes. Mostly lunch dates. I’m not up for more right now.” “Why not?” I glared at her. “Ok. Lunch dates are good. That’s a good start. Anyone interesting?” “Depends on who you ask. My dates seem to think so.” She laughed. “Aren’t you ready to find someone that you want to stay with for a long time?” “Nellie. You are sounding a lot like an infomercial. And. The only problem with a long time is that it lasts a really long time.” “Holly. I’m really happily married. I love it.” She said, happily. She did look happy. I remember how insecure and troubled she would get when she was dating. She used to call ME for advice. Yeah. I would remind her what to say or do, or suggest what she should wear. Her life did seem a lot easier now. “I’m too afraid to think about staying with one person for a long time.” I said. “The only person that I have been close to for a number of years has been Ralph. And he is only a friend. I haven’t met anyone who I would like to be attached to forever and ever.” “You just aren’t looking for the right kind of person.” She assured me. “Jamie and I have so much in common. We take classes together. We love our grandchildren together. We belong to the same church. We love to go country dancing. He’s really wonderful.” “Nellie. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to find someone whom I even LIKE to spend time with?” “You need to date lots of people.” She reminded me. “I know. Go out again and again till I hear a NO in my head. You have told me that. But it is hard to even put on make up when I’d rather stay home.” “He wasn’t perfect.” She said quietly. “I know. But I liked him.” “Do you really want to spend time with someone who doesn’t want you?” “Nope. No way. Not at all.” “Good. Then. Start accepting dinner dates.” “But….” “They’re just dates. Nothing more. Just go out and have some fun.” “I know. That’s what Ralph keeps saying.” “Unless you want to hang out with girlfriends all the time. Is that what you want?” “Um. No.” “Holly. Go and find what you are looking for. It is waiting for you. You know that.” “I know.” I sighed. “What makes me mad is that men seem to assume that I’m waiting for them to whisk me away. Every where I go I am being asked out. Men are trying to give me business cards at the post office. It’s really annoying.” She laughed. “It used to be that way for me. Now that I’m married, it never happens. If you don’t want to stuff trash cans with business cards, you need a ring.” “That can’t be the only way. Although I have been trying the ugly clothes and bad hair. Even that isn’t working right now. Maybe I will buy myself a fake ring, so I can breathe for a while.” “Liars never win.” She chided. “Do single woman ever win?” “Sure they do.” She said as sipped her iced tea. “They always get to be the first to ride in the front seat of the roller coaster. But. Haven’t you always hated amusement parks?” “You’re a funny, funny girl.” I said. ------------ About the author: Holly Winter is a teacher and a writer and a flight attendant living in Denver, Colorado, USA. She can be reached at her website or email: Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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