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 Holly Winter Living The Life Of Holly Aug 9, 2003 “So. What do you do for fun?” “I write.” “And what do you do when you’re done writing?” “I’m never done writing.” I hedged. Oh. I know. He was cute. And he was in my bedroom. He had asked me out fifteen different ways, and I kept changing the topic. “Ok. What do you write about?” “Life.” He kept his eyes on the computer. He looked more like a football player than a computer geek. He had that flippy hair thing going on and he hadn’t shaved. Very nice. Very nice. Man. My friends would have bought tickets to see this show. When I had finally given up and called to have my computer serviced, we all worried that they would send over a big, round guy. You see. There is less than two feet of space between my desk and my bed. I know. That’s barely enough room for me to sit and write. There’s no room at all for the computer to be worked on. But we had worried for nothing. They had sent over a rather perfect specimen. Computer Guy banged on my desk. “Damn it.” “What?” “Your new zip drive doesn’t work.” “You’re kidding.” I said, hanging my head in my hands. “That’s two drives in a row? I’m a zip drive failure. Is this at all related to not having enough room to work on the computer?” “No.” He said, disgustedly. “This’s happening because I’m living the life of Jed.” I started laughing uncontrollably, sure that he was playing with the title of my column. You know. Living the Life of Holly. He turned away from the computer. Do you have any idea what it’s like to get a computer guy to turn away from the computer? Well. That howling laughter did it. “Why are you laughing?” “Do you know what I write?” I giggled. “You could be my competition. I write about the bits of my day that go wrong. My column is called, Living the Life of Holly.” “You’re right.” He said. “I could be your competition. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll have a new drive by then.” I know. Having the cute computer guy return a second day wasn’t going to be a problem. I needed to pick out which gym clothes he would catch me in the second day. He delivered the next day’s news like a pro. “I promise. It’s not your fault. You didn’t break your computer. You’ve gotten three bad drives in a row.” “That doesn’t happen to people. Why does it happen to me?” I worried. I was sure that the company was going to revoke my computer. Maybe there are people who aren’t permitted to own modern technology. “It happens to you because you’re living the life of Holly, or aren’t you reading those well crafted columns that you write?” He teased. “I checked them out last night. The head butting one was my favorite. We can talk about how you like men to approach you tomorrow when I bring over your fourth zip drive, Zip Girl.” “Maybe I don’t want a working zip drive. This’s getting embarrassing.” “Call the company.” Um. Ok. After ample procrastination, I picked up the phone. “Hi. I’m tired of housing sick zip drives in my computer.” The phone tech laughed. “Ok. Then. You’re going to have to open up your computer.” “Um. No. ME? You don’t know who I am. You don’t understand. I can’t POSSIBLY open my computer. It’ll explode.” “Don’t worry.” He said. “I’ll be right here with you. If you damage it, we’ll replace it.” “You know. Right here is not here enough. I can’t do it. I want that cute computer guy to come back to do it. Didn’t I pay for that service?” “First you have to turn off your computer.” He said. “Turn it off now.” I was perplexed. “Ok. But. Don’t get mad. Because. Whenever I have a problem with my computer, I call Ralph or Shelby and they rush right over to fix it while I make dinner. I don’t know anything about computers.” “Ok.” He soothed. “Turn off your computer.” I sighed. “Now. When you say turn off… Do you want me to go to the start menu and hit the restart button? Or do you want me to go to the start menu and hit the off button? Or do you want me to just unplug the computer?” “Oh. My. God.” I know. But. Come on. I was way more afraid than he was. Luckily Tech guy had done this before. He put everything into my language. I yanked on black wires. I unplugged the skinny box with the orange tag which was the hard drive. I rerouted the zip drive. I played with blue ribbons. He was kind and encouraging every step of the way. When all was said and done it didn’t surprise me that I didn’t have a zip drive or a hard drive registering on my computer. I couldn’t have cared less. As far as I was concerned, my computer was fine. That must be how they wear you down. They make you unplug part after part till you WANT to spend your time writing on paper. “Great. It’s fixed. Thanks for your help.” “Holly. You have to open your computer one more time. We need to check some connections.” “No. Thanks. Really. I like it this way.” “Open it.” “Ok. But. Do I have to turn it off again?” “Yes.” “And I have to unplug it too?” “Yes.” He laughed. Um. I wasn’t trying to be funny. “I’m learning a lot about computers today.” “Oh.” He giggled. “You are barely scratching the surface. Believe me.” We put the computer through a series of tests again and again until I found that I had a zip drive, a hard drive and a floppy drive. Great. No permanent damage. In a last ditch effort, he asked what size my zip disc was. Yeah. You guessed it. Too big for my drive. I know. I know. Bigger isn’t always better. I hung up. The phone rang. “Hi Holly. I’m Living the Life of Jed, your favorite computer guy. Am I going to see you tomorrow?” I laughed. “No. They made me open the computer and unplug stuff and reroute stuff. Ends up that the disc was too big. My original drive was big enough; the replacements they sent were smaller. I told them I was HAPPY with the smaller zip drive. My computer has been fixed.” “You opened the computer yourself?” I laughed. “I did. Poor tech. Took him ninety minutes to talk me though.” “He deserves a metal of honor.” I laughed. “So. Am I going to see you tomorrow?” “Nope. My computer’s fixed.” “That’s not what I asked. Am I going to see you tomorrow?” “Oh. Um. Well.” “Unless you are the kind of woman who only dates doctors or lawyers or something.” Yeah. I know. He got one of those big laughs out of me again. Cause. He pegged two of the last occupations I’d spent time with. “Nope. I’m busy tomorrow.” I hedged again. “Perhaps another day.” (A photo to go with this column can be seen on my website August 9th- August 15th, 2003, and then can been seen by members on my Yahoo Group site. To become a member, click the link below.) ------------ About the author: Holly Winter is an adventurer who has become known for sprinkling humor through her extraordinary life that continues to entertain the many thousands of fans here at Useless-Knowledge.com. Whether she is giving advice to the new mayor of Denver, swimming with sting rays at the Cayman Islands, or dealing with the side effects of her epilepsy medication, you will find her positive take on the world to be the perfect accompaniment to each and every part of your week. Look for Holly’s columns every Saturday. Be sure to sign up for an e-mail reminder when her column has been posted at her Yahoo Group where a photo will be posted that goes along with the column. Send a blank e-mail to livingthelifeofholly-subscribe@yahoogroups.com You can contact Holly at her website Livingthelifeofholly.com or email: Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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