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Brooke Hadley
Stop Your Children's Whining Habits in Less Than a Week
July 5, 2003
I can’t remember when my son started
whining, but I do remember the exact moment
that I decided it had to stop. My hubby and I
watched Dr. Phil and learned that we are
responsible for this annoying form of
communication.
Prior to this, I assumed that all babies and
children whined. I thought it was natural. I did
a little research, put some amazing advice to
good use, and his whining is officially near
non-existent. The whole problem ended in
just a few days.
Why children whine
Babies communicate the only way they know
how: crying. As they get a little older, the learn
a plethora of other ways to express what they
need and want. By the time they figure this out,
parents have adjusted to the constant crying.
When they start to whine, it almost sounds
better. If parents respond immediately, they
learn that they have control and power.
Though they don’t yet know the words for it,
children are perceptive and quickly learn how
to get what they want.
Why whining is detrimental
Parents who respond to whines like words
reward bad behavior. If parents allow this, the
child could soon begin screaming or throwing
tantrums to get their way. When this becomes
frustrating, the parent often lets the child know
that they have become angry at the situation or
the child. In effect, the parent taught the child
the bad behavior and then caused the child to
feel bad for doing what they learned.
What parents teach their children by
allowing them to whine
Children learn that it is okay to have power
over another individual. If the child uses
whining as a tool to get what he wants, the
parent allows the child to manipulate them.
Once the child goes out on her own, she will
face many obstacles. Other children will make
fun of her to her face or behind her back. She
can get the feeling that she isn’t liked by her
peers.
How to stop whining in less than a
week
Let your child know that you no longer tolerate
crying. In understandable terms you can say,
“No whining.” If your child does not know the
verb “to whine,” immitate him. That puts a
term to the action and also shows him how
silly he looks and sounds. This technique
often causes my son to laugh and forget why
he whined to begin with. Though delaying the
problem is not the answer, the next step is to
ignore him. If you get what he whines for, you
cause him to whine more. By ignoring the
problem, they quickly learn that this method
no longer works.
Consistency is key
Your child will continue to whine. In many
cases, it gets worse before it gets better. They
will test you and try to break you. They might try
throwing fits to get what they want. If the parent
gives in now, he really does his child an
injustice. Inconsistency could certainly make it
last longer so stay strong. Children resist
change, and old habits will persist. In less
than a week though, the child will have this all
figured out. Just know that our children are
extremely smart, and they catch on quickly.
With this in mind, I feel that anyone now has
the tools to correct this problem. If you have
any questions or comments, please feel free
to e-mail me.
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About the author: Brooke Hadley currently writes freelance
feature articles and has six years of
professional writing experience. She has
recently been published in Mystic, CT, Los
Angeles, CA, and Austin, TX. She currently
lives in Austin with her new hubby and their
son, Skylar Austin. Email Brooke Hadley:
PersistentGerl@hotmail.com.
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