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Sept 30, 2003 I come before you well aware that broaching the mobile-phone subject is a daunting task. 10,000,000 articles (not a real statistic) have been written concerning the evils of the cellular phone, and 10,000,000 more (perhaps a slight exaggeration) have been typed to sing the praises of said technology. Blah-blah-blah-yadda-yadda- yadda, youve heard heard/read all of that fluff and nonsense before, and by now (unless youre some champion of either sides case) youre probably pretty sick of hearing about it. Well, I would like to offer now my own humble perspective to consider. I am of the opinion that the fault lies not with the cell-phone, but with the cell- phone users themselves! Now, I wouldnt be too surprised if at this point youre scowling at the screen and thinking to yourself Well yeah! Of course its the people themselves committing the acts of treachery!. You might then think to yourself how hungry you are at the moment, how good it would be to go grab a snack, and how big of a waste of time it would be to continue reading this, all in quick succession. In truth, I cant really blame you. Have I done anything up to this point to make you believe this article is going anywhere? Is there anything in here that even remotely hints at professionalism or journalistic skill? Is the topic Im ranting about (cellular phones, if youve forgotten) even interest you in the least bit? Sadly, Im rather inclined to view the answer to these questions in the negative. However, the one thing I DO offer you, the one incentive that just might make you consider reading further and getting to the end of this catastrophe, is simply. What if?. What if upon finishing this article you can lean back in your comfortable (or not so comfortable) desk chair, stretch your arms above your head, let out a good yawn, and think to yourself, wow I can actually see where hes coming from. That, dear readers, is what I can but hope and pray for. Anyways, back to the subject at hand Cell-phone addicts! People who should have never been allowed to touch the things, but are now too far gone to holdout any hope for them. You know exactly who Im talking about: the yuppie-yapper with his professional-looking haircut and impractical shoes, the teenager with her state-of-the-art-SpongeBob SquarePants-themed- SuperDooperMegaTalk500, or even the middle-age mother with her Gossip-Gabber two-way with Kid- Catcher option (dreaded among high-school and college students alike)all of them doing their very best to find simple ways to flaunt their phones or shower you with vague annoyance. They do things like plan-ahead to have one of their phone-flock (or cell-cult, if you prefer) call them at a critical point in a movie when theyre at a theater, or conspire with some friends to hold loud phone conversations from across the room in a restaurant just for their own twisted sense of pleasure. Why do they do these things? Does the mighty and awesome power of mobile-phone ownership compel them to do so? Do they not understand that theres a difference between reaching-out and touching someone and keeping them in a constant stranglehold? Im afraid that I dont hold the answers to these ponderous questions. What I do know, though, is that they have to be stopped. Laws must be passed, signs must be placed everywhere that proclaim excessive mobile- phone usage illegal and prosecutable by law. This solution protects the cautious talker and lets them retain their phone privileges. After all, its not THEIR fault that some people dont know how to talk responsibly. There is a famous slogan that N.R.A. members like to quote: Guns dont kill people, people kill people. If you switch guns with cell-phones and kill with annoy, you have the same basic idea. So next time you reach in your pocket/pouch/purse/whatever for your phone, look around and ask yourself, Is what Im about to do going to offend others around me? However, dont actually ask the question aloudnobody likes a self-talker, either. ------------ Email David Malcolm Binder: DMBinder@bsu.edu Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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