The New Liberal Lexicon

Articles

Tom Albano

The New Liberal Lexicon
Oct 22, 2003

The English language is one of continuous growth and change. Each year, new words and phrases, starting out as jargon and slang, find their way into our mainstream vocabulary. Some of these words, eventually, will even make it into the dictionary (purportedly invented by Al Gore).

One of the strong political trends in our country today is radical liberalism. This trend has grown considerably in recent years and has greatly influenced the way many of us view the world around us. This trend will, undoubtedly, have a profound affect on our modern day use of the English language. We have already seen popular liberal phrases such as "politically correct" find their way into the new dictionary. I am certain that many other new words, the spawn of liberal thought, will find their way into our everyday vocabulary as well. I've decided to include some of the more popular ones that may have already begun to take hold.

Clintosaurus: A far left-leaning political creature, groomed during the Clinton era, in danger of becoming extinct as the overall intelligence level of mankind increases.

Tedkennephobia: The fear of driving off bridges while riding as a passenger in a car.

Algorerythm: The process of taking an isipidly boring politican and attempting to turn him into a hip, youthful spokesman for your party.

Hillogram: A two dimensional junior senator appearing to be multi-dimensional depending on the political climate.

Bushwhacker: Another term for a democrat campaigning for political office.

Asnerphyxiate: To induce a state of unconsciousness by depleting the supply of oxygen in a room by having a windbag leftist celebrity (e.g. Ed Asner) ramble incessantly about how much they hate their country.

Frankelfurter: A popular new sausage-like food, inspired by leftist "humorist" Al Franken, consisting of a lot of crap packed into a thin casing. It has become the delicacy of choice at democratic fundraisers.

This selection is just a small sampling of the new words that liberal politics has inspired. Many of the new words are unfit to print here and will probably be seen only in the most radical and vile of liberal rags...such as the New York Times.

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