First off, always obey the first rule of all machinery repairs: If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!

The problem first manifested itself after upgrading from Windows ME to WinXP Home.

The system would occasionally lock up, a cold boot would always restore to normal operation. The event viewer would show two acpi errors. A google search revealed that acpi was Advanced Configuration & Power Interface, a BIOS function. A further google search for the Award BIOS yielded the fact that Award and Phoenix have merged (first red flag).

Award/Phoenix then offered a utility to interrogate the BIOS to see if an update was available. Surprise, surprise one was for only $74.95US (second red flag). Got out the credit card and after exchange, S&H and Duty the credit card had $117.00 on it. One week later I was the proud recipient of two floppy disks. After reading the printed documentation and the addendum’s (third red flag) on one of the floppy disks I burned My Documents folder to a CDRW disk (about the only thing I’ve done right to this point).

I next booted the floppy, was presented with the usual disclaimer and warning and flashed the BIOS. All went well, no errors, ejected the floppy and rebooted the system, nada, nothing, zip no display no BIOS screen. OK, fine I had installed a video card, removed the card and tried to boot from the on board video, same result with some system beeps.

RTFM (Read the f*****g manual) and the second and last item under troubleshooting stated: If your system has no display after updating the BIOS, don’t panic (red flag number four). Further instructions suggested I email the support company for a request to have a new BIOS chip sent to me.

How I was to email from my desktop, which has now taken on the computing capabilities of a large grey brick was not explained. So I fire up my, to this point trusty, Toshiba laptop and email the request.

One week later I am the now dubious recipient of said BIOS chip. No documentation accompanied the chip, but I was able to ascertain the pin 1 orientation.

Booted the system , nada, nothing, zip no display no BIOS screen. OK, readjusting my hardware hat to let the steam out, I pulled the CMOS or RTC battery and left if out for 12 hours and replaced it with a new one (system is about 3 years old). Same result, no boot or BIOS.

I emailed this result to the support(?) people and proceeded out of town, laptop in tow. Eagerly anticipating a response from esupport.com I connected to my dial-up account. The silence (I’m not sure if email makes a sound as it travels the internet.) was deafening.

Upon arriving back in town place my wireless card back into my, to this point still trusty, laptop and boot it up no boot. Has to be network settings due to connecting via dial-up, boot to safe mode, check settings all OK. Run scanreg /fix and scanreg /restore (Win98SE) no boot, back to safe mode run scandisk, no boot, back to safe mode run setup from CABS, no boot.

OK, no problem I have my backup CDRW from the desktop, nuke the puppy. Install wireless SW, no boot, nuke again, insert PMCIA card allow Win98SE to install drivers, install wireless SW, now boots fine. Insert CDRW in drive and find out CDROM can’t read the CDRW format. Attach USB zip drive, download drivers and recover data from very old backup on zip disk.

Voilà, esupport.com has responded suggesting I call their helpdesk for a resolution. This is when I find out although I had an 800 number for my credit card payment, the support was a toll number 9-5 Mon.-Fri. After listening to muzak for 21 minutes at daytime toll rates ($6.85 – not to bad actually) I hung up installed my PCPhone SW and called on my internet service. Only to be told they may have shipped the wrong chip or a bad chip.

They offer to give me another chip. One week later I am now the very dubious recipient of said BIOS chip. Insert boot, nada.

Call again, and am given an RMA number to ship MB (Motherboard) to Massachusetts for engineering to repair. Fedex second day shipping ($91.00 – if the math majors are counting we are now at $214.85) and the MB is on the way.

Two weeks later MB arrives, install and boot, and I now have the same computer I had two months ago (give or take).

Lessons learned: (1) Booting to the BIOS and disabling the ACPI function would have resulted in the system displaying the “It is now safe to turn off your computer” when shutting down the system. (2) This MB is a 1Ghz Athlon board, shopping around I was quoted a 1.3Ghz board for $145.00. (3) Before doing a BIOS update on my or any system in the future, I will go and slam my left hand (I’m right-handed) in the car door three times to remind myself how well this one went.