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Oct 6, 2003 In our global economy, toilet tissue is thinner than ever. Soup cans are infinitesimally smaller each year and clothes are less exactly the right size as they use to be. Worst of all, speaking is faster. Whats the going rate now? About 210 words a minute? If youre in entertainment, better speed up your spiel. Time is money, eh? Or do we all have much less than fifteen minutes of fame anymore? Since theres so many of us now, theres probably just a reduction in everything. How does that figure into why sound bytes are at all-time high rate of speed rate? Television for example only has a certain number of minutes or seconds to get the viewers attention. The child, your own darling child, has only ten minutes to tell you about his day at school before his violin lesson and lacrosse practice. Your dad tells you hes sprinting off to his second job after he offers fatherly advice at such a blur that you thankfully dont understand. Your grandmother rides a Vespa and takes tours via an elder hostel system -- believe me she doesnt have time to share her mothers recipe with you. And your doctor has even less time since some other larger body of managers dictates how long he must give to each patient. Bare a slight stutter or a baby boomer lapse, and you could find yourself on the gurney to hell. You need to spit it out when you go for a problem before Nurse Indifference shouts, Next. And MONEY? What about money? If you are lucky enough to live in a place, which has three, or four different currency, how do you remember what the new colors and pictures the new bills are? Ever look in your wallet only to see pounds, dollars, yen and loonies? And the clerk is tapping her expensive fake nails on the counter? When you throw a 1000 Lira down, she says, We dont take that. And we dont take a credit card for under 10 pesos. As she flicks her hair back, you must decide you dont care if your socks have holes. Its getting not worth it. Ever start to watch a movie after twenty-plus dollars to get in? The music soars and the actors talk low and fast. You cant back it up or put mute on just to read what you think they said. At home if you do this you must do it in the middle of night alone, else theyll trundle you of to the hearing center. Can you hear me now? Asks the hearing specialist inserting his instrument into your ear, this is the moment your cell phone rings and vibrates. You miss hear the auditory specialist and think he has said, Can you feel me now? You threaten a legal suit, only to find out he's not wrong. The banks have dreadful unwashed children who speed talk about YOUR money. And when you shout, Wait! or Repeat that please? he or she rolls her eyes like you are a total fool and points her pencil at the fifty people queued up behind you. The salesman speaks so fast that the listener cant catch the fine print. So beware of what you buy as well. Theres a small scanner now that looks like a pencil that can take lines or paragraphs to upload to your computer. Wouldnt it be lovely if we could rub that over the speaking, flickering lips of those who speed talk? Of course, by the time your cell got back to their email and their email got in touch with your voice mail, the contract would have been sealed and delivered. Of course IF it is YOUR contract the reverse is true. When I was a little kid I could write backwards in my native language and it was a great social tool. Theres not much call for that any more. But I could get a job if I could only speed speak backwards. Total Confusion Economic and Social Director would likely be the title on my door in shorthand. No doubt. ------------ Visit www.RDLarson.com or email RD Larson: RD Larson419@aol.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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