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July 4, 2003 I recently went out with one of my good friends to enjoy a couple of drinks and basically rehash some of the memories that we have made over the years. I had a fantastic time with him but our encounter got me to thinking about memories and nostalgia. It occurred to me that nostalgia is what creates the very fabric of relationships and the foundation that they are built upon. The interactions that we experience with one another and store away evoke special feelings within us. Nostalgia enables us to relive the past and delight in the fond memories that we have created as frequently or as rarely as we choose to. Different scents have always been instrumental in evoking a sense of nostalgia for me. Any time my olfactory senses become saturated with a sent from my past I am immediately transported back to that place. Any time I visit a department store or get a whiff of a perfume I am reminded of people that I dated whom wore similar fragrances. This immediately makes me smile as I can then recall everything about those people, and the times when I was happiest to be around them. I can’t help myself but to be thankful for the times I had knowing them, but then I come back to reality and realize why I dated them in the past, not the present. I never get extremely caught up in the longing, but being able to be transported back to the past is a wonderful gift. The most beautiful thing about music is that you can take any song made by any singer and make it your own. Songs are quite malleable in that way. One is able to bend them and squeeze them until they fit whatever shape they desire. A singer can write a song with a specific purpose in mind, but anyone has the power to listen to it and assign whatever truth to it that they desire. Over the years I have associated many chapters of my life with various songs. I can remember growing up in a suburb of Chicago and having the song “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” sung by Harry Caray be very instrumental in my youth. I can remember watching Chicago Cubs’ games and almost exploding because I was so excited to sing along with Harry during the seventh inning stretch. Whenever I hear that song I think of all the times I visited Wrigley field and ate hotdogs with my dad as we cheered on our beloved Cubbies. I think back fondly on those times because they were very special to me, and I am reminded of them from a mere song. I also remember when I was a senior in high school and I dated a girl on our high school dance team. She had been practicing for the bulk of the semester for their big dance show, which was to take place towards the end of the year. I was invited to go, therefore had to attend. I was not excited about it at all because I knew the music that was traditionally played at those events was music that I did not care for whatsoever. It had to have been midway through the show as I was struggling to remain conscious when “Crash” by Dave Matthews Band was played. It was almost a surreal moment. The lighting was a dark blue and remained that way for the duration of the song. The dancers moved in a unison that was absolutely amazing. I remember thinking that those four minutes were perhaps the most aesthetically pleasing of my life. I imagine that if I saw the dance by itself or had heard the song on the radio that it would not have had the same effect on me. I thought that experiencing those events, as separate entities would not have provided the same visually impressive effect. After that show, I believed that “Crash” was the most wonderful and beautiful song that I had ever heard in my life. Any time that I hear the song now it feels as if I am transported back to that day sitting in my high school auditorium and I am still blown away. I have often heard that there are distinct moments that characterize our lives, and if this is true, that would have surely been one that greatly impacted my life. I think that longing for the past or looking back fondly is only natural and very healthy. I believe it becomes problematic when one lets their ties to the past inhibit their progress in the present and future. This is something that we see frequently with ex football players that just won’t let you forget about their glory days on the gridiron in high school, or former high school basketball players that are twenty-six and still wear their letterman jackets. Reminiscing about the days of old is only human nature, but one has to be very careful to not let it consume them. In the case of relationships sometimes nostalgia is all we have to draw on. When you are not able to see the people you care about as much as you would like to, the only thing you really have are the memories you shared with them in the past. The only thing you can really do is to think back on them fondly in order to not have your relationships dissolve. The only thing that separates a loved one from a stranger are the experiences we have in common, and the bonds we have shared with them. ------------ Email Jason Trace: tracejas@msu.edu Comment on this column in the forum. ------------ |
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