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Jan 12, 2004 Fist of all, dating is a parental values issue and one that should be decided upon as early as possible before your teen hits adolescence. Your view on dating will determine the expectations your teenager has when they go through middles up to high school. If you are a parent that has decided that your child will not date until they have reached the age of 16, no matter what. Then that child has been raised with that expectation that 16 is when they are allowed to date, with no exceptions. The key is to be consistent with your expectations. If you decide you will allow your teenager to date, guidelines are very important. Before your child gets to the level of maturity you should have decided what your dating standards are. You must set a curfew and describe in advance what the consequences will be for breaking this curfew and stick to them. It is very important for our younger generation to stick with set dating standards. Many teens have different viewing on dating. You should never assume your teenager knows the etiquette of dating. You need to talk to your daughter or son on how to avoid an unwelcome sexual situation if it should come up while they are on a date. When you talk to them your discussion should be from the basics conversation to conversation between men and women. You should discuss different topics ranging from sexual activity, birth control and especially sexually transmitted diseases. You need to warn them of the different diseases and let them know that there are many that are not curable. Help them think about what they need to say or do to get themselves out of an uncomfortable situation. Make sure your teenager knows that you are there for them and willing to listen if they need to talk. If your teenager is female, talk with them about the dangers of dating guys much older then them. Discuss the idea that dating is more about developing a growing friendship than getting sexually involved. When you teen goes on a date the main things is if they is going to be late, a courtesy phone call is expected letting you know about the situation. (This does not excuse coming in after curfew and the consequences set). You teen should also let you know the phone number or numbers where they can be reached at all times. Once you teenager has went on their first date it is good to talk about it, even if it is uncomfortable. If is good to wise what they did and listen without interrupting. Discuss how their decisions influenced the course of the date and if it went poorly, how they might handle a similar situation differently next time. You will be teaching them to make good decisions instead of just communicating your disapproval. When it comes to the rituals of relationships, however, wise parents will think carefully about what is best for their son or daughter. ------------ Email Tequesta Walker: teewalkertq@aol.com Comment on this column in the forum. Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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