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Sept. 30, 2004 No more cheerleading from me. It causes too much pain and anguish for the members of the other team. The other team is full of “rage”. They have done so much quality research and found so many quality “forgeries” to make their point that George W. Bush is the most evil and untrustworthy Hitler and Taliban like person on the face of the earth. How can we conservatives continue in the face of such “proof”? I know I can’t bear to watch one more tear fall from one more liberal cheek. So I quit! Yes, it is true. Global Warming is all the fault of evil Republicans. Evil Republicans revel in the destruction of the planet. All Republicans pray that the world becomes so polluted that billions of people will just die and leave their family fortunes to death taxation at the front door of the Congress; so they can be scooped up and spent on military programs and buildings and Aircraft Carriers named after Ronald Reagan! How crass of those Republican taxaholics! And for all you rotten conservatives out there calling Mark “a lazy sucker of government services…uneducated and unwilling to buckle down… unable to forgo ravishing a white virgin [for her booty]; I say you are heartless charlatans for thinking such things about someone who has placed his entire candidacy out there for all of us to peruse and compare to the two scum suckers currently seeking the highest office in the land. Mark’s Load of Crap Party has put forth a credible agenda of preemptive attacks against Monaco; (or was that Morocco?) and I’m sure there was some other stuff, but at the moment I am experiencing a brain wipe. I am not a liberal, but I want to be one now. Mark has shown me the errors of my ways. When I wrote: “Democrats Make Me Sick!” I realized it wasn’t Democrats; it was the pork ribs I ate the other evening. Democrats don’t make me sick. I love Democrats. Some of my best friends are Democrats. Zell Miller makes me sick! How’s that! I should have no complaints at all about my life. Heck, I’ve been married 30 years next month. What do I have to complain about? I raised 5 children on a paycheck that qualified for welfare and food- stamps; that I couldn’t get because it was actually 3 dollars more than the allowable poverty level. So, I was rich! What did I have to complain about? My parents passed away long before they could participate in any government social giveaways. So now it is up to me to live long enough to let the government dole me back two or three percent of all the tax money stolen from me over the years. But what do I have to complain about? I can readily identify with Mark’s “18 hour days”. When my wife was pregnant with the twins I had to take on a third job to keep from losing my home to taxation. I got a couple of hours sleep each night, but as I’m thinking, that’s probably why I’m such a crotchety Independent. It is time to become a liberal and let Uncle Sam take care of me. I am tired of taking care of everyone else. Right after this I am going to fire off a letter to the Veteran’s Administration. I was robbed! They told me at my final out processing that physically, I was very healthy. Those cruds only gave me 20 percent disability. That’s not enough to qualify for a handicap parking sticker anywhere! What a rip! I want a recount! I need at least 60 percent disability to get any real government aid. Come on VA! Man! I never should have quit smoking. If I could get cancer I could sue Big Tobacco and make a fortune. I want to be a liberal! I want to be a liberal! Oh, I am so sorry I ever doubted Senator John Kerry. He was perfectly justified in all his anti- war activities that helped the North Vietnamese to torture American prisoners better and help them to completely lose their morale. Everyone has an opinion. It is a shame that any conservative has an opinion. Everyone knows that the only justifiable claims are those of liberals. We sure do need to retreat from Iraq. Heck, let the dirty Muslims, um, brave insurgent freedom fighters have their country. Let them claim victory against the “Great Satan”. Maybe then they’ll all go home to live in peace, drink lots of tea and become valued members of civilized society. It’s those rotten, Taliban like American soldiers who are ruining the world for everyone! We sure need to keep aborting babies too. Let’s not worry any more about partial birth abortions. We need all those brain cells and stem cells to keep real people alive. We don’t need any of those “growths” except for continued medical research. If we need any babies we can ask the Japanese or the French for a few clones. And by all means let’s let all the people out of all the prisons in America. Let’s commute all those sentences and get them all signed up to vote in the election. That’s only fair. It is cruel and inhuman to keep murderers locked away from society. They need compassion and understanding. Let them all be free! Who needs law? Who needs to keep murderers away from our children? These people all vote Democrat. I say let them be free! And those rotten Christian people too! We need to do something about them; but only the Conservative Christians; the ones who hate sin and evil stuff; they are the real threat! And those 250 Swift Boat Vet guys too. We have to find a way to arrest them and get them off the streets. And we have to stop all this home schooling crap too. The NEA won’t be able to raise their personal salaries anymore if home schooling becomes a viable alternative to using tax dollars for liberal lobbyists. And we have to give blanket amnesty to all those illegal aliens…um, legitimate immigrants too. If any conservative has something to say about that we can tell them to suck wind. They vote Democrat. We need them! Let them all in! Radical Islamofacists are entitled to vote in American elections too, right? So I can sure identify with Mark. I enlisted in 1971 at the age of 18 and served for 30 years. I wasted my life in service to my country when I could have got out, protested the war and became a US Senator. Go figure! I got married heterosexually and had five children. Boy! Was I a fool! I should be ashamed of myself! I could have had a gay marriage and adopted 5 kids and given them a perfectly loving, though dysfunctional and godless existence. What is wrong with me!? I don’t buy DVD’s because I never have enough money left after taxes for those kinds of luxuries. I need to be a liberal! I want to be a liberal! I want to buy a DVD! But this is going to take some time, I think. I am currently under contract and I honor my commitments. I know liberals aren’t supposed to think that way. I know we’re supposed to resort to anarchy to get what we want, but, forgive me. Being honorable is a hard habit to break. When this contract is over I will be a full blown liberal; I shall be the epitome of anarchy; I will sign over all future paychecks to the DNC to save them the time an effort of taxing me, and I shall sign up for welfare immediately; unless the free college deal goes through, then I shall apply to become a lifetime student, majoring in anti-Christian law. But no more of this Conservative crap for me. No sir! I’ve learned my lesson. Being right is much too hard! I want to be a liberal and take things easy for a change. ------------ About the Author: Michael John McCrae is an Independent, Conservative, Christian who has been personally insulted as a voter because John Kerry thinks the "Heart and Soul of America" lays in the "X-rated sexual innuendo" of Whoopi Goldberg. Well, Michael McCrae thinks America is better than that. Michael McCrae believes there is at least some morality left. So Michael McCrae is going to leave this here (until after the election) as a reminder to all of what John Kerry and John Edwards believe the Real America to be. They believe America's "heart and soul" resides in the "X-rated sexual innuendo" of Whoopi Goldberg. You can draw your own conclusions. Email: macswordV@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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