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Sept. 24, 2004 i pull away, why is it that you are holding me why are you trying to comfort something which you have caused hypocrite, how could you wipe my tears after all you had said you don't want me, in any way, shape, or form why is it that you mock me. attempts to help me up so wasted on something so numbed with pain i can't feel my own two feet supporting me all of it gone. so messed up the gravity of the tension is dumped onto my shoulders everything, every little bicker we have had winds up running through my mind did i cause all this why is my world fading gray no longer having that brightness that once made my aura glow so cold because you choose to abandon me? why is it i am never good enough my short comings before haven't been acknowledged is this my redemption for all the mistakes i need you, i need you to tell me it will be okay yet you can't do or say anything to bring comfort to me robbed of all my joys, my world is becoming full of cobwebs why can i not hold my ground why have i lost my sense of self without you if only i knew, knew how i can be better, for you and me i want you, but i now have a new fear that the one i love causes the most damage to me why can you do this to me? i love you, i need you so i can get better i want to be better to have you again i cry about my short comings, how am i to improve? the tension around me is so thick it's palpable i need to feel, without you i have become numb i only need to get better without you i no longer have an identity, i am not who i was when i was with you? that tension is replaced by confusion....but who am i really, i need to find me. now i understand why you cut me loose, i became too dependant, you saw that i needed to find myself i needed to understand who i was me, and just me. maybe i might not like who i find, i might find someone so different than that girl you were with maybe she's better maybe i'm better but all i know is that you cut me loose and now i need to find me, not another us ~enigma ------------ About the author Rachelle Ann Ramos: I'm attempting to be an author, at any age writing a book is an amazing feat. But I bet it's harder when your just a highschool freshmen. I have always dreamed about being an author of an inspiring book in which teenagers can relate to. I certainly hope I can get through this let alone highschool. Email: geminiprincess90@cs.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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