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Sept. 24, 2004 I have a friend. He's seventeen. I envy him. I wish I were seventeen again. None of the strain and pain that comes with being an adult. I didn't have any real worries, no real problems, hey, at some times, no at most times, I wasn't even concerned about my future. Everything was laid out nice and pretty for me. There was a schedule... school, homework, tv, dinner, chill, bed, sleep. It wasn't hard. I totally took it for granted. I am not considered old by any standards, unless you're my 7 year old nephew, then I'm practically ancient. But anyway, I'm not old. I was seventeen a mere 7 years ago. But when I stop to think about everything that happens in 7 years, everything I've gone through in that time, and how fast it went by, it scares me. In less than a decade I have dropped out of high school, picked up a drug habit, dropped the drug habit, been admitted to a psychiatric unit three times, been raped, been sexually assaulted (but didn't get raped cause I won, go me.), got married, got pregnant, got seperated, watched my father get hauled off to jail, learned law, had a baby, met a guy, got engaged, broke up with him, had my son's first birthday party, met up with ex-fiance and got re-engaged, got pregnant, had another baby, watched my fiance' get hauled off to jail, moved into a house for the first time in my life, and started writing a novel. All in less than 10 years! Time doesn't fly unless you write the major points of your life down. But with all that experience, all those life lessons, sometimes I just wish I were seventeen again. No cares, no worries, no crying babies or fiance's and fathers in jail. Everything was right in the world even if it didn't seem it at the time. I didn't need to worry about mouths to feed. That was my parents' job. I wanted to learn to drive. I wanted to save up money and buy a Mustang. But the Mustang days are gone. Replaced with a station wagon. Living selfish went out the window and now I have people, little tiny people, who depend on me to feed THEM. Do I love it? Yes. Would I trade it in? Never. But it would be so nice just to have one day where I wasn't a grown up. Just to have one day where I could be kid again. Sometimes, just sometimes, when the lights are out and no one is around, I wish for just a moment, that I were 17 again. ------------ About the author L.J. Chapman: I am 24 years old and I live in Massachusetts with my two children. I am going to be getting married to my fiance' Josh, in October of 2005. I have written several poems for poetry.com and I am in the middle of writing my first novel "The Checkered Blanket" which is a work of fiction. Email: bipolar_bear80@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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