I Propose A New Amendment To The Constitution

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I Propose A New Amendment To The Constitution

By Brooks A. Mick
Sept. 24, 2004

As Mel Gibson said as they disemboweled him in "Braveheart:" FREEEEEEDDOMMMMMMMMM!

One of Mick's Postulates, I forget exactly which number it is, says that "No matter what group you are in, it is usually trying to destroy someone's freedom somewhere, someway, somehow.

Please remember: THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Unfortunately, many people, including whatever your pet social or political group is, even if it claims to want freedom and individual liberty, seem to have forgotten this. We are not living in a totalitarian state where the government, no matter how well-meaning, should be able to tell citizens how to run their private lives. (Are we?)

This includes smoking, the constitutionally guaranteed right to keep and bear arms, the use of trampolines, and other activities which are none of your neighbor's business and none of the government's business.

It amazes me how many of the liberal apologists for President Clinton's tasteless and illegal activities nevertheless want to poke their long blue noses into the private cigarette packs, gun cabinets, and back yards of law-abiding Americans.

Pediatricians want to ban guns, emergency room doctors want to ban trampolines, and Playboy magazine thinks it is perfectly fine for Rep. Pete Stark, the national Medicare nanny, to formulate a law saying it is illegal to discuss fees with a naked patient. Isn't this getting a little silly? Isn't it? Aw, come on, admit it!

I propose a new Amendment to the Constitution:

"Congress shall pass no law any funnier than the average Polish joke." (Of course one would have to establish just how funny the average Polish joke is, but that shouldn't be too hard. Get an old laugh meter from a canceled TV game show, assemble a statistically representational crowd, get someone with no sense of humor to read a large sample of Polish jokes, and measure the average laugh decibel. Then read the new laws proposed by Congress to the same group, and see how big a laugh the law gets and compare it. Simple.)

This would stop much of this garbage. In the meantime, never cheer when somebody else's taxes are raised, because they will be into your pocket next. And never yell "right on" when someone else's freedoms are trashed, because you are tacitly agreeing that the government can trample your freedoms next.

Are you sure you want the government telling you you can't yell at your kid to turn down the volume on that rap music? That may be next. Watch out or your kid could file a complaint and you'll end up in jail.

Not only is the camel's nose in your tent, he's in up to his belly button ring! Let's all resolve to support each other's pet freedoms so our own won't be trashed. How about it, folks?

Where do we live anyway? Let's hear it! THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

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About the author Brooks A. Mick: 63-yr-old physician, still practicing medicine but retired from the US Army. Write just for the fun of it, but working on novel in the vein of Tom Clancy's politico-military genre.

Email: brooks15@cox.net

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