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Sept. 17, 2004 Dear Mr. Michael Moore, can I call you Mickey? Anyway, I realize you might be looking for work after the election so timing is everything. I have heard much about your fictional comedy called Fahrenheit 9/11 and hear the actors playing the Bushs were so real; people thought it was a documentary, or was that a ...NEVER MIND!Anyway, I have a proposal for a sequel and as I realize you are of limited imagination and intellegence I offer my services. Imagine this: Trenches, via WWI (for those of you in a city in California beloved by Rush Limbaugh that is World War I 1914-1918) troops are crowded about a very nervous older gentleman, a messenger, is clutching documents to his chest. He's obviously waiting for something, or someone. The others crowd around. When is he coming? How long. We're running out of ammo! Sobs are heard. The place is about to plunge into chaos. Pandemonium! The lies aren't working. The propaganda is ineffectual. They have a defense we weren't even expecting, Truth, on their side. Oh, woe is us. All is over! There is the sound of a mighy rushing wind. The commanding officer comes on scene dressed as Mighty Mouse (appropriate music playing in backround) It's our hero, Jolly John (Heinz)Kerry! Cheers go up. Hurrah! Oops! He forgot. Goes and changes into uniform (bit of cape sticking out the collar) Help is on the way! The messenger gives him a great hug! (Played by Dandy Dan Rather) I was worried. I have these forged documents, but the Bush VRWC won't let up. (Vast Right Wing Corp) They keep pounding us. Will we get any reenforcements? Yes, if my Swift boat guys get through. Someone sees something on the horizon. It's the swift boats! Mr. (Heinz) Kerry takes a pair of binoculars up to look. Drops them in dejection. Starts to sob, brokenhearted. Yes, it's swift boats, but it's swift boats for Truth. They're being lead by Dubya and Rush Limbaugh, they have a PMS battalion with them and they look real PISSED! Jolly Johnny wets his pants. Where's my gun? You going to lead a charge? No, I'm gonna shoot myself in the foot so I can get another Purple Heart and get out of here. Here they come. Kerry clutches Dandy Dan's shoulders. Dan, you're my number one guy. I'm counting on you, Dan Rather. I'm ordering you to hold on until the end. "I can do that." Whatever happens Dan, don't move. "Yes, sir, what do you have planned?" I'm taking the rest of the MSM(main stream media) and we're getting the Hell out of here. He and the rest take off. A PMS enraged Amazon (think KILL BILL) comes to the top of the trench. Murder in her eyes. "Come on, their getting away!" Dan Rather wimpers. OOOOOOhh! A girly man! Yummy! Dandy Dan drops his bundle and runs after Mr. (Heinz) Kerry et al. Nooo!Moommmyyy!! The PMS Amazon commander picks the bundle up. What's this? Opens it, sniffs at it, wrinkles nose. Forgeries. You coulda smelled them a mile off. Wonder why that little man was holding them so tight? Come on girls, let's win one for Dubya and El Rushbo! She charges after Rather and Kerry. Mr. Michael Moore, I realize you might want to change some names. After all, you wouldn't want this one to be confused as being a documentary, too. Would you? People might get the wrong idea. ------------ About the author: Lee Zelhart is a proud graduate of McKendree College in Lebanon, Illinois. He is the widowed father of two teens and the prospective author of a soon to be published book called: The Ghost of the Cavalier. Sometime in summer 2005, or before. Email: graphicsdoctor1@sbcglobal.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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