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Sept. 17, 2004 We met in the fallout of a very troubling time of mine. He was always there, never had to call, but always came. He told me how much he loved me, but I was too on a mission to listen. I had something to prove to myself and others. The only thing I proved was what an idiot I could be. One day I made a decision, which was the wrong one, or was it? It wasn't a decision that had to be final, I could have changed my mind, why didn't I? Was I destined to come here? That, I do believe. I've got me a house full of innocent love in a crazy mixed up man made world out there. I never stop thinking about him, not even for a day. Hoping he'll hear me and come. I have his coffee cup in the cupboard, cream for his coffee always kept in the fridge. I've looked down every ally and avenue I can think of to find him. Someone to tell him I'm sorry, please come and see me. I watch for him everywhere I go. All the cars that come down the street, I look in to see if it is him. I wait for him to come and knock on my door. He'd be shocked from then until now! And probably ask me, "What happened?!" But it would all change and everything would all work out. All the rubber bands holding this house together, would soon be gone. All the leaky faucets would be fixed, without a fight or a hassle or even a, "Could you fix it please." I'll laugh and smile, have fun, dance and sing again. Not because of the things that he fixes, but for the comfort and peace that he brings, that he is, to me. Guys come into my life saying, "I really like you. I could see us in a house up on a hill." But I feel no sparks for them and I hide no secrets and they leave, for they know that my heart belongs to another and that love can only be given freely, at will. I've loved before, but never like this. Never has anyone touched my heart and left his print imbedded so deeply on my heart like this before. Am I wasting my life waiting for him? Wasting my time, thinking and hoping he, the most comfortable man I've ever been with, will come back into my life? My heart doesn't think so, nor does my mind. I truly believe that destiny will once again, bring us together. ------------ About the author Tracey Lin Kilgore: I write from my heart as the words are given to me. He lives in our hearts and helps me, through my writings. Although I think that I am writing for others, quite often it is written for me, to help me and get me through the times of my life. Not all are saddened times and some things are really quite fun. The majority of my writings have messages in them of an awareness that needs to be seen and practiced more often in today's times by more of today's people of this modern society. Email: spaceylin@yahoo.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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