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Sept. 7, 2004 Werner: Why is it that you never sleep? God: Well, I feel guilty for being such a lousy God and it keeps me awake at night. I have tried sleeping pills, but it seems that I didn’t create a pill for myself. You can imagine the quantities of medication I have to take before it has an effect on me. I mean, I am a God after all and you know how it is - the bigger the patient the bigger the dosage required. Werner: Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m on psycho analeptics and sedatives for the treatment of my depression and anxiety disorder. But it doesn’t work miracles, you know. I’ve tried praying and asked for your healing, but you didn’t seem to respond. God: Are you trying to aggravate my insomnia? I know, I’m sorry, but it’s just that my inbox is so full of spam mail – by the way, you’re a computer programmer, how do I go about deleting that stuff? And then there are all these emails from Jesus freaks trying to tell me they need another son of mine down there – for God’s sake, don’t they know by know that Jesus of the Bible – who wrote all that crap in the Bible about me anyway? - was just a schizophrenic who also had a knack for illusion magic?! Werner: Yeah, whatever. I can see that you are very much preoccupied with all the chaos in the universe you caused. But I have another question. Did you really create man in your own image and if so, why? God: No, certainly not! But it seems that some people come out the way I look and those others come out quite handsome and sexy – just look at that sexy Jennifer Lopez! God, if I could just get her up here and show her my you know what! I’m sorry for those people being born with two heads or maybe missing an arm or a leg or just without brains like myself, it certainly wasn’t my intention. I just do the best I can, I mean, give me a break, I'm just human after all! Werner: Yes, ok, I understand your frustrations and natural instincts, I mean you being the origin of all these base urges and all, you really must be on the verge of bursting. But now, I’m really curious to know whether or not you maybe use creativity enhancement props to really fire your inventive drive. I enjoy cigarette smoking and red wine and I really think nicotine serves as a stimulant for cognitive abilities. What about you? God: Well, I must admit that alcohol is one of my greatest inventions, as it can be administered for both the drowning of personal sorrows, which I am full of, and for the celebration of success. I thought it would’ve seemed obvious to you that I am quite a heavy drinker. Just why do you think the Earth is spinning and that there’s a bit of a wobble every few thousand years in the orbits of the planets around the Sun? When I quit drinking, I fear that the Earth will stop spinning. Thank God for alcohol! Werner: I always suspected that. God: Yeah, well, no one’s perfect.Now,Werner, can I ask you a question? Werner: Sure God. Go ahead. God: What do you think are you? Werner: Well, am I not one of your favorite creatures, partaking in the magnificent form of your creation? God: No, ignoramus. You are a figment of my imagination. And I am a figment of your imagination. We are in one mind, devoid of the separate personalities of you and me. Werner: And where do I come from? God: You come from the infinity of an imagined mind imagining.In short,you are your own creation. Werner: And where am I going to? God: To Hell off course. No, not really. Nothing is going anywhere. Being is infinity without any real direction. You see, existence or the absence thereof is not a question of when, what,how, where or why. It is THAT it is. It just IS. That’s it. Werner: Amen! ------------ About the author Werner Reyneke: I am a 23 year old passionate writer/poet in my spare time and a computer programmer by proffession. Visit my website to see my first published book. I live in South Africa and have been published in a local newspaper (some poems in Haiku form) for the first time in February 2000. I have also been selected for publication in a VoicesNet Anthology (visit www.Voicesnet.org) and a Poetry.com (ILP Publishers) anthology called "Eternal Portraits"). Visit my website at: http://myweb.absa.co.za/wreyneke/Mybook.htm Email: wreyneke@absamail.co.za Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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