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Oct. 29, 2004 There is no shortage of sleaze, corruption and crime in the state of Louisiana. The bayou state is notorious for police brutality, political corruption and a tolerant attitude toward sins of the flesh. A Louisiana state representative has decided to tackle the monumental task of cleaning up his state's decadent reputation by introducing a bill to ban low-slung pants. That's like trying to address the problem of obesity by introducing a bill to ban hotels from placing mints on pillows. Rep. Derrick Shepherd, a Democrat has become the butt of jokes and has led many to wonder if instead of trying to ban butt crack he should stop smoking crack. This ass-backwards bill would make it a crime to wear clothing in public that "intentionally exposes undergarments or intentionally exposes any portion of the pubic hair, cleft of the buttocks or genitals." If the bill passes, violators of the proposed law would have to perform three eight-hour days of community service at a fire department and could have to pay a fine up to $175. In a speech to the state legislature Shephard intoned, "There comes a time in every society where we must draw a line of decency, where we must speak to a group of individuals who flaunt the laws of our state, who flaunt the morals of our community." He wasn't chastising his fellow state representatives for their political corruption; he was speaking in defense of his bill to outlaw low-rider pants. If my plumber bends over to repair my kitchen sink and exposes his butt crack, I may turn away in horror, but society will survive such a grievous crossing over the line of decency. If a pretty lady sashays by me sporting low-rider jeans, I don't think that's a portent that Armageddon is right around the corner. I wouldn't mind if Britney Spears were arrested for impersonating a singer, but it would be a crime if she were arrested for exposing too much skin next time she has a concert in New Orleans. Our politicians should stop obsessing over wardrobe malfunctions and start addressing the serious issues of the day: Crime, unemployment and lack of affordable health care. I hope this idiotic bill goes down in defeat; we certainly don't need the fashion police arresting young ladies for sporting a cameltoe. ------------ About the author Robert Paul Reyes: I am a columnist for the Lynchburg Ledger. Email: rreyes4966@aol.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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