HOME | POLITICS | SPORTS | LIFE | SCI/TECH | OPEDS | HELPFUL TIPS
|
Oct. 29, 2004 Count Dracula received a letter from his old buddy Frankenstein's monster. The text, which appears here, is a scoop on the Drudge Report. (They really wouldn't have wanted it anyway) To His Highest Honour, Count Vladimir Dracula Dracula Castle, Transylvania, Romania. Dear Drac, Wolfie sends his best. Right now he's out chasing the mail man. I told him I was going to write you and since the mailman normally doesn't stop I need a little help with that. The mummy was going to do that, but keeps tripping on his wrappings if he tries to run. Remember the good old days when we used to run ranpant over the countryside and scared everyone silly? Those where the days. Of course that was several hundred years before Hitler and Stalin came along. Remember the time we dressed as Nazis and rode through that one town in a tank? What fun. Seems like people don't scare as much anymore. True, there's guys like Saddam, Bin Laden, and Obama, but still unless you cause death and distruction on a grand scale you don't even raise most eyebrows. Too bad! The scariest things anymore are microscopic like atoms and germs. A little of that, the wrong way, goes a long way. This has been a pretty scary year in the States with the weather, too. A scale too big for us (well, maybe not Kong). Of course it is harder to scare them over there since 9/11 (the comedy by Mickey Moore). I still wonder where he got those puppets of the Bushes. Speaking of the States...Cousin John is doing pretty well terrorizing them over there. He has the voters ready to crap their shorts.I'm surprised nobody's figured out what the F stands for in his middle name. The dopes think it stands for Forbes! Hahahahahaha! He's even got a relative of Igor running with him(or was that running his campaign). Ironically, I mentioned germs earlier. Well, Cousin John has his face injected with Botox. Isn't that a hoot? Actually, he is doing so well over there I have thought of taking this year off and giving out candy instead. The parents seem to like my get up. This is confusing since I've had it for years. Anyway, Drac, I thought I might change my image a little. I saw a guy on the telly the other night who really creeped me out. Dan Rather. Your Pal. Frankie (The Baron Frankenstein, unofficially) Oh, yeah, I remember now...That relative of Igor helping Cousin John is Algore. ------------ About the author: Lee Zelhart is a proud graduate of McKendree College in Lebanon, Illinois and the father of two teens (one of which will be getting married in the next couple of years, maybe sometime in 2006) and the author of The Ghost of the Cavalier due out in 2005. Email: graphicsdoctor1@sbcglobal.net Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
||||||
|
|
|||||||
|
