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Oct. 28, 2004 So here I am again, half a pack of cigarettes left and it's only 1:22 in the morning. I am awake, wide awake. This time from a non- medicinal induced insomnia.... i.e. they took me off of my medications and I can't sleep. I was reading some of the archives and some specific columnist's work when I peeked at my own name and saw that one of my first articles I wrote a bunch of random things while having a bout of insomnia, so I decided, hey, why not do it again... so here goes. The Red Sox won the World Series... I didn't get to watch on TV, as I have no cable, but I listened to it on Radio@aol and kept refreshing ESPN.com, so it was like actually watching the game in my head. I live in Massachusetts, a mere 45 minutes or so from Boston, so I got excited and jumped around and called some friends when the alleged "Curse Of The Bambino" was broken. It will give me conversation fuel for anyone I have to talk to tomorrow. My son, who is two years and four months old, said his first full sentence today. "Mommy, I want a cookie." I gave him two cookies, even though he only requested one, because he spoke a full sentence and I was proud. It was one of those moments in parenthood where I was extremely happy and extremely in shock at the same time. Man, he's growing fast, which in turns means I'm getting older, and I don't think I'm quite ready for that. My 25th birthday is less than 6 months away, and while 25 is in no way considered old, unless you're 10, it's just more proof that my pot smoking, hard lemonade drinking, party days of old are gone and over. Long gone and over. And speaking of party days of yore, after the Sox won the series, I called my best friend and talked to her about all the fun times we had. And talked about how we sat at the kitchen table playing drinking games plotting how to get my then best friend to go out with me and how if we ever talked about clipping coupons or diapers we would have to shoot each other at point blank range at the same time. Well, time has passed, we discuss coupons and diapers and pull-ups, potty training and my then best friend is my now ex-husband. My how times change. I also found out today that the Massachusetts Correctional Facilities that I know so much about, having a father and a fiance' in two seperate facilities in this state, has once again screwed up. Now I am not a fan of the MCIs in this state in the first place, but enough is enough. Yesterday, as my fiance' was sitting in his cell, the guy responsible for all the release paperwork and such approached him and the following conversatin ensued: Paper Guy: Are you -insert last name-? Josh: Yes. Paper Guy: Are you Joshua -insert last name-? Josh: (looking around cell) Yes. I'm the only one here. Paper Guy: Why are you here? Josh: Because you guys won't let me walk out. Paper Guy: You were released on the house bracelet two months ago. Josh: Say that again? Paper Guy: According to your paperwork, you've already been released. Josh: Okay, can you open the door and let me out then? Paper Guy: No, you have to wait for your parole hearing next Thursday. Josh: What?!? But you just said I was released already! Paper Guy: Well, our mistake, but this will definatly increase your chances of getting paroled. Sorry about that. Josh: Yeah, that makes up for it. So there you go. The County Sherriff's department at it's finest. Wasn't that beautiful? My fiance', the father of my children, my husband to be was supposed to be out over sixty days ago and was basically told "Oops, my bad, oh well." Life is beautiful behind the walls of the County Jail. Well, enough of the bad stuff, how about some good stuff? My daughter said her first word last week. I was so proud. She's only five months old and here she is already speaking. She just looked at me with those big blue eyes, she has the same eye color as her brother, (who both have the same eye color as my father, which is weird) and she smiled at me. And I looked down at her and I said "Hey Lexi, what's up?" Like she would look back up at me and say "Nothing much, Ma, you?" Anyway, she looked up at me and said: "Da Da". Da Da, not Ma Ma, who has been her sole parental figure since she was 10 days old, no, she says Da Da. Which just goes to show you, you can take the Daddy away from the little girl, but you can't take the Daddy from the little girl's heart. I know, I am one of the little girl's who's daddy's in jail. I can feel for her. Daddy's baby girl. Or in my case, Pop-up's little girl. Whatever you may call it. Take a second after you read this and call your father if you can. Just tell him you wanted to call and say hi cause you could. Tell him you love him, tell him you were thinking of him, tell him you just wanted to call cause you can... not everyone has that privlage. Well, I have rambled on enough, and this particular article did not turn out as I thought it would. I started with one thing and rambled on until I depressed myself. I have that problem late at night, just rambling on, writing and writing until it all comes out. Usually I use the notebook I was given in therapy to write it all out, but today I guess the impulse was to write it to the world. I have to learn impulse control. It's one of those life skills that one should use as often as possible, yet I do not. So I don't know what the title of this is going to be... our elusive editor, who by the way is a particularly cool person, sometimes changes the titles of my articles to fit the theme better. But I guess that's the way it is. Things change, baseball teams win World Series, kids learn to speak in sentences, teenagers turn into adults and have kids of their own and stop talking about pot and start talking about diapers, prison systems make mistakes, babies say first words, and articles, well, articles sometimes change form halfway through. Change is a part of life. Life in inevitable. Therefore, change is inevitable. Okay I'm done. ------------ About the author L.J. Chapman: I am a 24 year old mother of two. I am getting married June 4, 2005 to my fiance', Josh. I am in the middle of writing my first novel, "The Checked Blanket" which I hope to have finished by the end of the year. I have several poems on poetry.com. Email: bipolar_bear80@hotmail.com Tell a friend about this site! ------------ |
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